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Watch This Chicago 'L' Train Jump The Tracks And Run Up An Escalator

The other day, a Chicago Transit Authority operator apparently fell asleep, and the Blue Line train she was running consequently jumped the tracks at O'Hare and ran up a god damn escalator, injuring 32 people, causing an estimated $6 million in damage and screwing up commutes all over the city. Here is raw security… » 3/26/14 12:07pm 3/26/14 12:07pm

Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls

Earlier this week we introduced you to terrifying Cubs mascot Clark The Cub and invited you to do horrible things to him. We started you off with Jim Cooke's full-frontal rendition, which is exactly what Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic aired to viewers across the Washington, D.C. area tonight. » 1/14/14 11:21pm 1/14/14 11:21pm

A Brief History Of Terrible Chicago Mascots

The Chicago Cubs unveiled their new mascot yesterday to little acclaim. That's what happens when you create a mascot that looks like a nightmarish, perverted furry and lends itself to horrible Photoshop alterations. But Clark the Cub is just the latest in a long line of ill-advised Chicago mascots. Here now is a quick… » 1/14/14 2:33pm 1/14/14 2:33pm

The Cubs' New Mascot Is A Nightmarish, Perverted Furry

In an apparent effort to get the public to stop paying so much attention to their tenuous connections to the traditional baseball experience and start paying more attention to them as a baseball team, the Chicago Cubs have spent the last while systematically eradicating everything that's even remotely attractive about… » 1/13/14 4:53pm 1/13/14 4:53pm

Dennis Farina In Most Chicago Beer Ad Ever

Millions of people like me are convinced that Chicago remains, despite rampant gun violence, a collapsing public school system, and gangs of hoodlums menacing bewildered tourists downtown, the very best place to live, or at least drink beer, in the United States. No one ever spoke more effectively for us than the… » 7/22/13 3:10pm 7/22/13 3:10pm

No One Notices The Spurs Because No One Notices San Antonio

Here's a working barstool-grade theory as to why, during its dynastic run to four (perhaps soon five) titles since 1999, America still embraces the San Antonio Spurs with a yawn and a why are you still here? squint. This phenomenon has flustered if not baffled sports cognoscenti for years. But they play pure,… » 6/08/13 4:11pm 6/08/13 4:11pm

If The Chicago Cubs Want Their Big Renovation, It's Time For Them To…

Wrigley Field, the goat-themed cemetery where the past 105 seasons of Chicago Cubs baseball are buried, is finally getting an overhaul befitting the task at hand. The Ricketts family that now owns the Cubs apparently wants to win more games, and to spend money to do so. Presently the team doesn’t earn money it could… » 4/06/13 3:28pm 4/06/13 3:28pm