Back to School: Lunch Is a Problem That Comes Every Day

When you have children of your own, you realize for the first time what your own parents went through, things you couldn't possibly have understood when you were a child—and really are better off not having understood, because the knowledge would have been debilitating. There's the abyssal terror at having brought a… » 9/16/13 9:26pm 9/16/13 9:26pm

Kevin Durant Remorselessly Swats The Jump Shots Of Children

Children beware, if you attend Kevin Durant's basketball camp, you are likely to get your shit ruined. Some people may think Durant cruel for sonning children with such extreme prejudice, but those people simply don't understand that there are few things in life as satisfying as violently blocking the shot of someone… » 8/08/13 1:15pm 8/08/13 1:15pm

Your Baby Is Ugly. Deal With It.

You may tell everyone that your baby is basically the Channing Tatum of babies, a veritable Wee Helen of Teeny Weeny Troy, with a face perfect enough to launch a thousand tiny ships. Well, the gig's up — we know that you know, deep down, that your baby is the sort of baby the other babies would describe to potential… » 7/16/13 1:39pm 7/16/13 1:39pm