CBS Praises Browns For No Turnovers; Browns Immediately Turn Ball Over

The Cleveland Browns have been rock-solid at holding onto the ball lately, and CBS decided to call attention to the fact that they'd gone 99 straight red-zone drives without a giveaway. That's the longest active streak in the NFL, or at least it would be if they hadn't immediately turned the ball over on that very… » 11/16/14 2:28pm 11/16/14 2:28pm

Stephen A. Smith Says "Nigga, Please" On ESPN2, And Everyone Gets…

On Thursday morning's First Take, Stephen A. Smith expressed his disbelief that Kobe Bryant would miss time with an injury by saying "nigga, please." This was not a thing he should have said on TV, yet he did. It was barely noticeable, but at least one person noticed, uploaded the video, and certain folks began… » 10/26/12 12:35pm 10/26/12 12:35pm

Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please

Can we talk about this? Can we talk about everything wrong with the notion that if the Cubs are to succeed—if they are to finally, evitably win a championship—they have to first tear down Wrigley Field? That there is bad juju on Waveland and hoodoo on Sheffield and black alchemy on Addison and maybe some cursed pirate… » 5/15/12 4:05pm 5/15/12 4:05pm

Death Is Stalking The 1994 Chargers

It is the plot of the least likely Final Destination sequel ever: members of the 1994 AFC Champion Chargers have been dying premature deaths. Even more premature than the average CTE-doomed football player: with Lew Bush's death last week, seven eight players from that Super Bowl team have passed away before the age… » 12/13/11 3:00pm 12/13/11 3:00pm

Soon-To-Be-Fired Newspaper Editor Puts A Big Old "Fuck" On Page 3C

You may want to avert your delicate sensibilities from today's Greenville (S.C.) News, because they accidentally printed a naughty not-for-old-people-who-still-subscribe-to-newspapers word in today's story about the SEC Title Game. It's easy to miss, subtly placed in the flow of the text, but look very closely at the… » 12/01/11 11:45am 12/01/11 11:45am

Your Occasional Update On Witchcraft Tomfoolery In The AL East

A Boston-based Yankees fan litters grass from Yankee Stadium in Fenway Park to jinx the Sox, and the construction worker who planted a Boston jersey in the Bronx claims his hex is working. In his magical kingdom, maybe. [NY Post] » 6/09/09 11:15am 6/09/09 11:15am

The Tarp That Ate The Cardinals ... On Sale!

St. Louis Cardinals, still reeling from the magical season of 1985 that just missed ending in a World Series win, might not want to hear about this, but you never know: Maybe they'll want to burn it. As the final year of St. Louis' Busch Stadium draws to a close, the Birds are auctioning off some old crap they had… » 7/27/05 12:32pm 7/27/05 12:32pm

Giants Fans Desperately Want To Get Crabs

In 1984, the San Francisco Giants, back when the team was terrible and the sports information was wacky, introduced the Crazy Crab, a satirical mascot meant to skewer the concept of a mascot all together. The notion was that Crazy Crab was an anti-mascot, one that would take the abuse of fans frustrated with a lousy… » 6/30/05 12:58pm 6/30/05 12:58pm

The Curse Of Don Novello

The San Francisco Giants, thanks largely to a balky knee that has absolutely nothing to do with steroids, are 14 games under .500, 11 games behind the first-place San Diego Padres and appear stuck in a rather large ditch with poor plumbing and a strange puddle of something green. But a new theory explaining the… » 6/27/05 10:34am 6/27/05 10:34am

Tampa Now Killing Off Its Pitchers Literally

What would you do if you were pitching so poorly that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays wanted to send you to the minor leagues? Legitimate question: No one seems to have any idea what happened to starter Dewon Brazelton. His agent released a statement and now isn't talking, and no one in D-Rays' front office has any idea if… » 6/01/05 10:30am 6/01/05 10:30am