Last week I went on Chopped and won and everyone made fun of my shirt, because you people are SOULLESS JACKALS. Anyway, bossman Tim Marchman had a few questions for me about this shirt, mostly so that he could discover new avenues for mocking it. And so I am ready to answer those questions—along with a few…
Our own Drew Magary won on Chopped tonight. There’ll be a full recap tomorrow, but for now enjoy this.
Our man Drew Magary was on Morning Joe today (where Mike Barnicle talked about beaning his kids with fastballs) to promote his new book, Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood. You should buy it if you like things that are good. He'll also be doing a thing in Brooklyn tonight with Tucker…
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now.
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying.
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why.
A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine.
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer.
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered.
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS!
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!
Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!!
I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT.
Announcements have been unkind to you lately. They're either telling you someone has died, or that you're gonna get banned from commenting. Well here's an announcement I hope you find a bit more welcome.