How To Make Soft-Boiled Eggs: A Minute To Learn, Two Minutes To Master

The weird thing about soft-boiled eggs is the widespread misconception that they're so much trickier to make than their hard-boiled brethren. Done right, they're really not much trickier at all. Easier than stuffing 1,200 words of padding into an instructional blog post about making them, that's for damn sure! » 2/21/15 12:03pm 2/21/15 12:03pm

How To Make A Baked Egg--Yes, Goddammit, A Baked Egg

You say "baked egg" and people look at you like they're concerned for your wellbeing and go, "... baked egg?" And you go, "Yeah, y'know, like a shirred egg, only more Italian," and they go, "What in the damn hell is a 'shirred egg'?" And then you say, "Oh, goddammit, now I'm gonna have to write about this in my… » 9/13/14 12:32pm 9/13/14 12:32pm

Eva Longoria Maybe Isn't The Best At Cooking Eggs

Here's actress, cookbook author, and ex-wife to the stars Eva Longoria on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, trying to cook up some damn eggs. » 9/03/14 11:09am 9/03/14 11:09am

How To Make Deviled Eggs, And Reign As Lord Of The Side Dishes

Somebody always brings deviled eggs to the cookout or potluck or NA meeting, and it's never you, and that person is everyone's favorite, because deviled eggs are just the best. » 6/07/14 1:58pm 6/07/14 1:58pm

How To Hard-Boil Eggs, For Godly Or Ungodly Purposes

Interestingly (or maybe not interestingly) (I mean, we are talking about boiled eggs, and we are gonna have to calibrate our "interesting" scale pretty generously here), hard-boiled eggs, when made properly, receive a much softer boiling than soft-boiled eggs. The "-boiled" is what confuses things: It makes you think… » 4/19/14 1:09pm 4/19/14 1:09pm

How To Make Sausage Gravy, And Shave A Few Years Off Your Lifespan

Sausage gravy is deeply, deeply disreputable food. In its typical presentation, slopped across biscuits in some charmingly run-down roadside diner with Patsy Cline playing on the jukebox, it is, in essence, flour on flour, dressed up as actual sustenance by the inclusion of token quantities of butter and pork—which,… » 3/22/14 9:41am 3/22/14 9:41am

How To Make Scrambled Eggs, Most Controversial Of All The Breakfasts

Did you know that people do not all make scrambled eggs the same way? Did you know that they even occasionally disagree about how best to make scrambled eggs? It's true. True and intolerable. True and intolerable and horrifying. » 12/07/13 9:30am 12/07/13 9:30am

$40 Deviled Eggs To Help You Survive The Great Sriracha Panic

From time to time we come across a highfalutin recipe with an ingredients list that strikes us as a hair on the costly side. And when we do, we're gonna run those ingredients through the checkout aisle at Whole Foods on the Bowery to see how it adds up. » 11/12/13 3:21pm 11/12/13 3:21pm

The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped

What are the United States' best regional foodstuffs? Its worst? These are the questions that bedevil the mind of man—but no longer! For here, we have ranked them. Rigorously scientific (not), ardently researched (nope), and scrupulously fair (not even a little bit): this is the Great American Menu! » 10/17/13 2:36pm 10/17/13 2:36pm

How (And Why) To Poach Eggs: A Guide For The Haggard

Poaching eggs is a bit more complicated and delicate—these are nice ways of saying annoying—than frying them or scrambling them or hard-boiling them or throwing them at Rick Reilly, and so the question of how to poach them kinda naturally goes with the question of why to poach them. The true answer to the latter, of… » 8/17/13 10:14am 8/17/13 10:14am

How To Make A Goddamn Omelet

You go to a greasy-spoon diner or an obnoxious chain pancake joint or a seedy meth-scented Waffle House, and you order an omelet. Well, OK, you don't order an omelet—you order a giant chocolate-chip pancake with a smiley face drawn in whipped cream, and then you drown it in pink, berry-flavored corn syrup, because… » 7/27/13 10:40am 7/27/13 10:40am

Bobby Hebert Is Convinced It Was "African-American" Falcons Fans Who…

When the Saints arrived in Atlanta for their Thursday night game, they were greeted by having their team bus egged by airport workers. Finally, Bobby Hebert had the guts to say what I'm sure everyone was thinking: it was black people, right? » 12/03/12 2:00pm 12/03/12 2:00pm

Airport Workers In Atlanta Apparently Egged The New Orleans Saints…

We can all agree that Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport is the worst in the United States? Like, way worse than O'Hare or Newark, right? Nevertheless, this story that originated with New Orleans Saints backup quarterback Chase Daniel clearly shows that flying into Atlanta should only be done if a)… » 11/28/12 10:00pm 11/28/12 10:00pm