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Everyone Wants Drake's Jacket From The "Hotline Bling" Video 

Drake dances like a dork in a $1,050 dollar Moncler jacket in the just-released video for “Hotline Bling,” and now everyone has to have one of the damn things. Moncler spokesman Domenico Galluccio told Vanity Fair that on Tuesday, in the aftermath of the video’s release, sales of the Maya coat doubled. A quick check…

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Take the Pledge: I Will Not Have Sex With Anyone Who Wears an AppleWatch

Imagine: you're lying in bed, the perfume of lovemaking still stinging your nostrils and firing your neurons, legs tangled with your partner. Baby, that sex with you was so good, you coo, rolling over—only to discover that your partner is wearing a gold miniature smartphone on his wrist. Don't ever let this happen.

Your Ugly Christmas Sweater Is Stupid; Stop Wearing It Now

Take off your ugly Christmas sweater and burn it. Don't throw it in the trash, because that's not good enough. That thing needs to be rendered useless, diced into tiny pieces, incinerated. Why? Let's start with the fact that it's not a functioning piece of clothing. It's itchy, ill-fitting, and lets cold air in…