Take the Pledge: I Will Not Have Sex With Anyone Who Wears an AppleWatch

Imagine: you're lying in bed, the perfume of lovemaking still stinging your nostrils and firing your neurons, legs tangled with your partner. Baby, that sex with you was so good, you coo, rolling over—only to discover that your partner is wearing a gold miniature smartphone on his wrist. Don't ever let this happen. » 3/10/15 4:44pm 3/10/15 4:44pm

Your Ugly Christmas Sweater Is Stupid; Stop Wearing It Now

Take off your ugly Christmas sweater and burn it. Don't throw it in the trash, because that's not good enough. That thing needs to be rendered useless, diced into tiny pieces, incinerated. Why? Let's start with the fact that it's not a functioning piece of clothing. It's itchy, ill-fitting, and lets cold air in… » 12/23/14 11:45am 12/23/14 11:45am

Save 20% on a Huge Variety of Watches Today on Amazon

They might not vibrate every time you get an email, or need to be plugged in every night like smart watches, but...well actually, dumb watches sound pretty great. If all you need from a wearable are clean looks and a clock, Amazon is taking 20% off hundreds of different models right now with promo code 20TIME14. » 8/27/14 9:45am 8/27/14 9:45am

What Real Dudes Think of the Men's Section on Blake Lively's Website

The opinions held by many women about Blake Lively's new lifestyle URL Preserve could probably be boiled down to calling it a "silly blog for rich ladies." But the site also boasts a growing section of items for men. Who are these men and what do they think of Gwyneth 2.0's prospects of success? » 8/06/14 11:38am 8/06/14 11:38am

Men's Sports Uniforms, Ranked

Summer's in full swing, and there are sporting events all over the damn TV. The World Cup has presented us with lots of excuses to gaze upon Thighlights, but are soccer uniforms really the most awesome uniforms in the sporting world? If not, then what sport has the best uniform? Time for some investigative journalism. » 6/25/14 11:33am 6/25/14 11:33am

Heartbroken Dude Attacks Ex-Girlfriend And Ex-Best Friend Via T-Shirts

When your girlfriend hooks up with your best friend, living well is the best revenge, but the second-best revenge is selling $13 sky-blue T-shirts emblazoned with "Fuck You Todd & Jessica!" as the pretense for an all-caps rant in which you lambaste Jessica as a "CHERUBIC CONCUBINE TWAT LORD" and inform Todd that "IF… » 6/11/14 12:47pm 6/11/14 12:47pm