jezspin-2016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Man Achieves Adequacy
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and surprise-interviewed him about this historic achievement. ...

Here Are Some Good Sport Vines
I love watching sports live, but I also love to relive the magic of a great play or a brutal block over and over again. ...

Report: Lebron Looking For a New Home
Lebron has been out of his element in his present situation, it’s safe to say, and sources say he needs to find a new home....

Some Tragic Displays of Athletic Competition on the <i>Bachelor </i>Franchise
The Bachelor franchise is successful because viewers experience a light but undeniable catharsis from watching other people humiliate themselves. ...

NCAA Escapes Upsetting Crucial Auntie Fan Base By Keeping Luther Vandross-Sung Theme Song
In an embarrassing lack of judgement, Turner Broadcasting announced it’d be replacing Luther Vandross’ iconic version of “One Shining Moment” as their NCAA theme song last week. But once the all important Auntie and smooth R&B contingent weighed in, TBS realized their grave mistake....

Man Smashes Pads
A man smashed some pads last night, or— as is apparently another way to say this—“blasted some mitts.” ...

Do Some of You People <i>Really</i> Stand Up When You Wipe Your Asses?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Drew is on vacation, and Jezebel is running Deadspin today. I am running Funbag with a little help from some old Deadspin friends....

Love Is Love, and Also a Game: It's the <i>Carol</i> Liveblog
Can’t watch Carol in the middle of the day? How sad for you. Follow along as I spend the next hour and 58 minutes rewatching the classic tale of two women desperate to score, while living in a society that refuses to support players who switch teams....

Colin Kaepernick, Like Therese Belivet, to Consider Major Career Change
There comes a time in the lifespan of a job that an employee is offered a new opportunity elsewhere. Reasons for taking (or not taking) the other job are many—not to mention deeply personal—and the decision, once made, has the ability to change the trajectory of life, as well as all the lives in its...

A Comprehensive List of All the Sports I Should Have Quit Immediately
I spent my formative years in a sports-obsessed southern town surrounded by girls who were good at sports, girls who loved watching sports, and girls who were good at sports and also loved watching sports. Unfortunately, as an anemic and noodle-bodied sloth with zero competitive instincts who was tr...

Balls, Ranked
God has blessed us with so many balls. Here they all are, definitively ranked from worst to best. ...

Here Is Your Ultimate Sports Party Pump-Up Mix to Get You Very Hype
The Jezebel staff is very excited to join you all today, which is a great day for sports—all sports. We love sports!...