Nation Demands Pro-Jonathan Papelbon Takes; Fox Sports Provides Them

The trouble with a story like yesterday’s Bryce Harper-Jonathan Papelbon fight in the Nationals dugout is that it does not contain much—any—ambiguity. It is unambiguously wonderful, that oh-God-this-is-so-fucking-stupid kind of wonderful, and also Jonathan Papelbon unambiguously is a belligerent tool whose decision to… »9/28/15 1:08pm9/28/15 1:08pm

Enjoy The Matt Williams Farce While You Still Can

It is a testament to the Washington Nationals’ dysfunction that the dugout fight between Jonathan Papelbon and Bryce Harper almost made sense compared to everything that came after. A team’s for-hire closer trying to choke the league MVP is one thing, but it’s absolutely inexplicable that manager Matt Williams then… »9/28/15 9:41am9/28/15 9:41am

Jonathan Papelbon And Bryce Harper Brawl In Nationals Dugout

The Nationals are really deteriorating as their season comes to an end. They somehow have a winning record, but the dugout has gotten downright toxic. Just this week, Papelbon plunked Manny Machado then Bryce Harper called him out for it. Today, tensions boiled over and the two got into a fight in the dugout after… »9/27/15 4:15pm9/27/15 4:15pm

Jonathan Papelbon Talks Horses And Dick-Sucking Holes

Whenever the Red Sox and Phillies play, someone sticks a recorder in Jonathan Papelbon’s face and uses his thoughts on both teams as an angle to get through the series. (Shane Victorino just isn’t as brash.) Before Wednesday’s game, the Phillies closer was direct to the Boston Globe about his connections to the Red… »4/09/15 11:15am4/09/15 11:15am

Jonathan Papelbon Is Afraid Obama "Wants To Take Our Guns From Us"

The Boston Marathon bombings have had a particular resonance for Phillies closer Jonathan Papelbon, who spent seven seasons with the Red Sox and says he once lived above the spot where one of the bombs detonated. Papelbon is rightly concerned about security at open gatherings in the wake of the attacks, and his… »4/17/13 3:01pm4/17/13 3:01pm

After Blown Save Jonathan Papelbon Promises $5K For A Walk-Off Homerun, Jim Thome Cashes In

Jim Thome hit his 13th game-winning home run yesterday, good enough for a weird Major League record only the folks at Elias think about. It was also good enough for $5,000, according to Jonathan Papelbon. Paps came in to a 6-4 Phillies lead over the Tampa Bay Rays in the ninth inning and promptly gave it away on a… »6/24/12 11:00am6/24/12 11:00am