Please Join KOGOD This Evening For NBA Draft Insanity

Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK] » 6/25/09 4:42pm 6/25/09 4:42pm

This Is Outstanding

It's an autotuned version of memorable press conferences. AI's "practice" soliloquy dominates but you'll also find some Kanye'd versions of Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" and Mike Gundy's "I'm a man!" looped in. [KSK] » 6/23/09 11:15am 6/23/09 11:15am

Mr. Magary Anxiously Awaits The Arrival Of Brett Favre To His Beloved…

Isn't it great when a player you always rooted for and admired joins your favorite team? Your love of sports is emboldened. This is not one of those instances. [KSK] » 5/06/09 2:20pm 5/06/09 2:20pm

KSK Blogger Disgraces Washington Post's Pristine Image

The young man in this picture, enjoying himself with the Pittsburgh Parrot, is Michael Tunison. He has two lives. In one, he is Michael Tunison, reporter for The Washington Post. In the other, he is Christmas Ape, one of the crew at Kissing Suzy Kolber and a weekend editor at this here site. Earlier this week, these… » 4/17/08 11:47am 4/17/08 11:47am

Emmitt Smith Is A Man Of Letters

We never thought we would ever be saying this, but after watching almost a full season of Emmitt Smith on ESPN ... we kind of miss Michael Irvin. We know. We're so ashamed. » 11/28/07 1:35pm 11/28/07 1:35pm

It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on…

After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys. » 9/09/07 7:50pm 9/09/07 7:50pm

More Late Game Bukkake

San Diego 14, Chicago 3 LaDainian Tomlinson made up for a fallow first half with a flush fantasy second, throwing for one touchdown and rushing for another, but still managing only 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommy Harris can jump offsides all he damn pleases, it's still not making up for a parlous Bears offense. » 9/09/07 7:20pm 9/09/07 7:20pm

Tomlinson Rushes Not Exactly Like Nike Zoom Commercial

All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears. » 9/09/07 5:35pm 9/09/07 5:35pm

College GameDay: An Appreciation

Drew wrote a thoughtful piece about ESPN's traveling band of college football analysts that we probably should have run yesterday. I still think it's semi-pertinent since these guys are the exact opposite of the professional counterparts that we'll be tolerating today, who seem to excel at nothing else other than… » 9/09/07 12:00pm 9/09/07 12:00pm

Legislating From The Luxury Box


Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your hands. Even… » 9/09/07 10:57am 9/09/07 10:57am

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)

I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge." » 9/08/07 4:09pm 9/08/07 4:09pm

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football

I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge." » 9/08/07 4:09pm 9/08/07 4:09pm

May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out

Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Human Extinction… » 9/08/07 3:45pm 9/08/07 3:45pm

Just Wake Me When It's Over

September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced refreshment… » 9/08/07 12:06pm 9/08/07 12:06pm

The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership

Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, » 9/08/07 10:37am 9/08/07 10:37am have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTML formatting! It…

Time To Agonize Over Your Fantasy Team Name

We are officially ready to start thinking about fantasy football, we think. As always, we're in too many leagues for us to keep track of, particularly because we consistently make the mistake of naming all our teams the same thing: Mattoon Green Wave. This is not only uncreative, but also incredibly confusing. » 7/25/07 5:25pm 7/25/07 5:25pm

Happy Birthday To The Madmen At KSK

This graphic, whipped up by the great twoeightnine at With Leather, signifies a historic anniversary today: The folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber are celebrating their one-year birthday today. It's rather amazing to think it has just been a year since they spawned; they legitimately made last year's mostly subpar NFL… » 6/28/07 2:50pm 6/28/07 2:50pm

Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass

MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay. » 6/23/07 5:00pm 6/23/07 5:00pm