Lawyer for Santa Accused of Public Handjob Demands Article Be Yanked

Following yesterday's post about a SantaCon Santa who was allegedly caught by a filmmaker having his North Pole publicly waxed by a naughty little elf, Gawker received an "urgent" email from a man claiming to be Santa's lawyer. » 12/17/13 4:23pm 12/17/13 4:23pm

Jack Clark's Lawyer Responds To Albert Pujols's Lawsuit With Pizazz

Albert Pujols is suing former baseball player Jack Clark because Clark recently went on his now-cancelled radio show and told listeners that Pujols's trainer once told him that Pujols had been "juicing." Judging by a settlement offer that was sent from Clark's attorney to Pujols's attorney this morning, Clark has… » 10/14/13 1:14pm 10/14/13 1:14pm

Judge Who Wants Chad Johnson In Jail Is Legally Blind

The story out of Florida domestic court this morning was that Chad Johnson was this close to entering his plea deal when, for some reason, judge Katie McHugh asked him if he was happy with his attorney's performance. Johnson said yes and slapped his ass. When Judge McHugh saw this she rescinded the plea deal and… » 6/10/13 10:47pm 6/10/13 10:47pm

Florida Trial Lawyer John Morgan Running Massive Pro-Tebow Ad Campaign

John Morgan, whose "For The People" slogan has made him Florida's most famed trial attorney, might not seem a likely Tim Tebow supporter. Morgan's a devoted supporter of liberal causes, and Tebow is not. That isn't stopping Morgan from launching a huge campaign to get the Jacksonville Jaguars to sign the… » 5/08/13 11:59am 5/08/13 11:59am

The Lawyer For Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Would Like…

Yesterday we passed along the news that Fred Smoot, the former cornerback best known for inserting a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on a Vikings sex cruise, was arrested last month in Washington for a DUI. Among the information in the police affidavit: Smoot urinated down his pants leg while being processed at … » 1/25/13 4:50pm 1/25/13 4:50pm

Lance Armstrong's Lawyer Says His Client Would Pass A Lie Detector…

Most experts doubt the validity of polygraph tests as a means of determining whether or not someone is actually telling the truth. Polygraphs are useful in attempting to get someone to tell the truth—hook up a criminal suspect to enough electronic diodes and tell them a beeping machine can read their mind, and they'll … » 10/14/12 11:55am 10/14/12 11:55am

PGA Tour Lawyers Try Really Hard To Scare Us Into Taking Down Their…

Way back in January we posted this low-quality video, filmed off some schmo's TV screen, of a sound guy tripping and falling as Ryuji Imada prepared for his drive. It was not the pinnacle of sports commentary, but it was a guy falling down, and I thought it was pretty funny. » 4/26/12 4:40pm 4/26/12 4:40pm

Cease And Desist, Baby! Vitale's Management Asks Website To Take…

PM Sports, a newish site which markets itself as a site for "sports-centric comedic videos that blur the lines between wrong and wrong," posted the above cartoon in February. It's a fairly whimsical premise: the impolitic Vitale, bored without March Madness games, causing a ruckus at a funeral. » 3/16/11 1:20pm 3/16/11 1:20pm

Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January

You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well. » 12/16/09 2:00pm 12/16/09 2:00pm