B.J. Upton reacts to finally looking at his batting average.

It's almost surprising that it took Mike Trout this long—his 224th career major league game—to hit for the cycle. But this generation's prototypical five-tool player rectified that last night, and finished it off in style.

Everyone's frustrated in L.A. The Dodgers are in last place, and Don Mattingly's probably out of a job soon. Andre Ethier was ejected in the eighth for arguing balls and strikes, and on his way out nonverbally expressed his displeasure with home plate ump Dan Bellino.

Alex Sanabia spit on the baseball. Just hocked a stringy, viscous loogie all over it. You can't get more blatantly illegal than that. Still: this isn't cheating.

It's right there! The ball's right there!

A truly magical moment: managers from both teams, simultaneously arguing the umpires' call. Buck Showalter? Wrong. First-base ump Dan Iassogna? Wrong. Joe Maddon, claim your prize.

Last night, San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was on the mound against the Colorado Rockies. In the fourth inning he lined up to throw a pitch, slipped, and toppled over. He got called for a balk.

So last night the Atlanta Braves played the Dodgers. They won, which was expected. What wasn't expected was ex-professional wrestler Jake "The Snake" Roberts making a cameo to lead everyone in singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the seventh-inning stretch. That's what happened, though.

"Looks like we're going to extra innings." That's what Greg Brown, the Pirates' TV broadcaster, said as soon as Russell Martin made contact on this fly ball to shallow right-center. But Brown should have known better. Because it ain't over till the Astros have finished tying all of their shoelaces together.

Have 17 minutes to watch a short documentary on Morganna the Kissing Bandit, the top-heavy exotic dancer who spent three decades interrupting baseball games with kiss-and-runs? Sure you do. [Roopstigo]