Mellon Arena: The Final Frontier

The NHL Closer is written by the five Star Trek: The Next Generation enthusiasts from Melt Your Face Off. When not attending conventions, they can be found in their makeshift Holodeck, where they practice putting the moves on a virtual Counselor Troi. Set your phasers to stun, Deadspinners, because Weed Against Speed… » 5/29/08 10:00am 5/29/08 10:00am

Penguins Return Home For Game Five, Get Back In The Habit

The NHL Closer is written by the five pillars of piety from Melt Your Face Off. When not serving the needy, sick, poor and uneducated, they can be found sneaking sips from the Baptismal Font. Weed Against Speed somehow got his hands on the keys to the Popemobile, so let's take this sucker out for a spin. » 5/19/08 10:40am 5/19/08 10:40am

Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End

While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the end of… » 5/11/08 11:00am 5/11/08 11:00am

Facing Sweeps, Home Cooking Served New York Well. Colorado? Not So Much

The NHL Closer is written by the five aspiring television writers from Melt Your Face Off. When not huffing toner, they can be found desperately trying to get a pilot episode green-lighted for their action adventure series, Puck Force Five - Hockey Bloggers By Day, Crime Fighters/Lady-Killers By Night. » 5/02/08 10:40am 5/02/08 10:40am

A Word To The Wise: Always Be In A Good Position When The Puck Is…

The NHL Closer is written by five amateur sports media analysts over at Melt Your Face Off. When not playing make-believe by pretending that they are participating in a round-table discussion about what is wrong with how sports are now covered while being railroaded by Bob Costas, they mind their business, keep their… » 4/30/08 11:00am 4/30/08 11:00am