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The Brewers Aren't Allowing Fans To Bring Their Own Porta-Potties To Games, Because The Free Market Means Nothing Anymore

The Milwaukee Brewers, willing handmaiden to America's racing sausage industry and one of a suspiciously low number of professional baseball purveyors in the state of Wisconsin, have coupled with Waste Management, Inc to violate an essential American freedom: The right to bring your own porta-potty to the ballpark, so…

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10 Historical Events That Would've Been Completed In The Interval Between MLB's First And Last Opening Days This Year

1. Anglo-Zanzibar War (38 minutes)
2. Death and resurrection of Jesus (according to Bible) (36 hours)
3. October Revolution (2 days)
4. Bay of Pigs Invasion (3 days)
5. Operation Desert Fox (4 days)
6. The ground conflict of the Gulf War (4 days)
7. February Revolution (5 days)
8. Six-Day War (6 days)
9. Apollo 11…