The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored…

A Mark Sanchez fumble, caused by a teammate's ass in mid-pratfall, returned for a touchdown. God bless you, New York Jets. You're one of life's inherently funny things, like words with "k" sounds or Millard Fillmore or talking bears. » 11/22/12 9:57pm 11/22/12 9:57pm

Which Rookie Quarterback Had The Most Poise After His Second Start?

Last week, Andrew Luck of the Indianapolis Colts showed the most poise out of all the rookie quarterbacks who played in Week 1, according to people who wrote about him. Did Luck maintain his grip on the poise title in Week 2? Or did any of the other four rookie quarterbacks—Robert Griffin III, Russell Wilson, Ryan… » 9/18/12 12:40pm 9/18/12 12:40pm

Which Rookie Quarterback Had The Most Poise After His First Start?

Mark Sanchez was the king of "poise" during his rookie season in 2009. That year, you'd have been hard-pressed to find any writers using any other word to describe him (seriously, you would). Now, after just one game this season, five first-year quarterbacks—Robert Griffin III, Andrew Luck, Brandon Weeden, Ryan… » 9/12/12 3:45pm 9/12/12 3:45pm

There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead

If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children's book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that's already the case with America's youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paulus, Dustin Pedroia,… » 11/08/11 11:15am 11/08/11 11:15am

Justin Verlander "Gutted Out" "Gritty," "Gutsy" Performance Last Night,…

Justin Verlander threw 133 pitches yesterday, which is a lot, and he gave up four runs on eight hits, which isn't so great. By most standards, he pitched a so-so game. By his standards, he was awful. But because the Tigers won a game they had to win, and because the prevailing narrative calls for Justin Verlander to… » 10/14/11 2:35pm 10/14/11 2:35pm

Mark Sanchez, Joe Flacco, And The Franchise Quarterback Con

There was a moment during last night's Jets-Ravens game—a wacky, interminable affair that had so many turnovers, penalties, and replay reviews that one would have been better off watching baseball for crisp play—when it became clear that Joe Flacco and Mark Sanchez are running the NFL's most successful con. Flacco… » 10/03/11 5:10pm 10/03/11 5:10pm

Why No One Remembers The Mark Sanchez Rape Case

A friend sent me an e-card this week. It's a woman spraying a can of Mace into the air, and the caption reads, "I can't wait to see what strategic defense the Jets use against a gigantic rapist." » 1/21/11 5:55pm 1/21/11 5:55pm

Danny Woodhead: Not Particularly Small, Just White

Last night, as was to be expected, Jon Gruden and the rest of the Monday Night Football gang talked about fun-sized pigment curio Danny Woodhead with the sort of insight and gravitas one finds on the cover of Bop Magazine. » 10/05/10 5:15pm 10/05/10 5:15pm

The One Where Mark Sanchez Has A New Miami Waitress

Poise'n: (April15th) So I know the proud father of Sanchez's new flavor of the week. He was showing me cell phone pics of the two the other day. She's a waitress named Lindsey Hughes who works at Club LIV in Miami [GQPhotoshoot] » 5/29/10 11:45am 5/29/10 11:45am

The One Where Mark Sanchez Goes To A Graduation Party Tonight

Where The Poise is:Mark Sanchez is in the bay area visiting one of "Football's Fabulous Females" and is supposed to join her for a graduation party at The Saddle Rack in Fremont, CA on Saturday night, 5/29...Requesting anonymity. (GQPhotoshoot) » 5/29/10 11:40am 5/29/10 11:40am

Mark Sanchez Is The Future Of Home Entertainment

This photo is begging for some mischievous editing. Or maybe just hilarious captions. Please note that jokes about his future being bright enough to warrant wearing sunglasses will be ignored. » 3/11/10 6:55pm 3/11/10 6:55pm

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. » 1/23/10 11:15am 1/23/10 11:15am

Mark Sanchez Is The New JaMarcus Russell, Only Worse

Vince Verhei draws an intriguing comparison. JaMarcus Russell, 2008-09: 198-for-368, 2,423 yards, 13 TDs. Mark Sanchez, 2009-10: 196-for-364, 2,444 yards, 12 TDs. The difference? Sanchez threw more picks. And only six people thought to mention Russell's "poise." Six. » 1/20/10 3:45pm 1/20/10 3:45pm

Cum On Feel The Poise

Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised. » 1/18/10 6:50pm 1/18/10 6:50pm

Poise To Men

Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise. » 1/15/10 6:00pm 1/15/10 6:00pm

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again

"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News] » 1/04/10 10:55am 1/04/10 10:55am

Farm Poise

At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise. » 11/17/09 1:45pm 11/17/09 1:45pm

Where The Poise Aren't

Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff. » 10/19/09 1:00pm 10/19/09 1:00pm

Good Ol' Poise

What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise. » 10/13/09 12:30pm 10/13/09 12:30pm

World Can At Last Make A Germane "Dirty Sanchez" Pun

QB Mark Sanchez was fined $5,000 for his cheap shot on the Saints' Jonathan Vilma, in which Sanchez launched himself at Vilma's knees during Darren Sharper's 99-yard interception return for a touchdown. Such poise! [Star-Ledger, Pro Football Talk] » 10/07/09 4:00pm 10/07/09 4:00pm