Report: Troy Polamalu Has Revelation In Church, Retires 

According to the Uniontown, Pa. Herald-Standard, Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu called owner Dan Rooney last night and retired. Polamalu missed four games due to injury last season, his 12th, and there were reports last month that the Steelers didn’t want Polamalu back, and hoped he would retire. The … » 4/09/15 11:07pm 4/09/15 11:07pm

Goodbye To Old-Ass Jason Giambi, Who Refused To Go Down A Villain

Jason Giambi is retiring. At age 44, the slugger announced yesterday that his gradual disappearance from the game—one that began all the way back in 2009, when Giambi remade himself into a grizzled pinch-hitter and nominal player-coach—has reached its terminus. His career probably should have ended long before… » 2/17/15 1:21pm 2/17/15 1:21pm

Iker Casillas Hopes To Become Overpaid By MLS One Day

Real Madrid legend Iker Casillas has had a rough go of it these past few years. The goalkeeper has seen his previously blemish-free legacy tarnished by the hand of a vindictive manager, lost a considerable amount of support from a fanbase that once idolized him, suffered a cratering of confidence, and now looks likely… » 1/27/15 5:21pm 1/27/15 5:21pm

Steelers Running Back Isaac Redman Ends NFL Career Due To Injury

The Pittsburgh Steelers waived running back Isaac Redman in October of last season after then-rookie Le'Veon Bell popped up as a more effective option. (Bell's now dealing with a different problem.) Redman didn't sign with another team after his release, but today, he said he never healed from an injury to his spinal… » 8/22/14 12:05pm 8/22/14 12:05pm

Big Brown Has A Nicer House And Way More Sex Than You

Yesterday, we published a story on racehorse Big Brown's near-completion of the 2008 Triple Crown, and some shady Wall Street characters who surrounded the horse's failed run. Last night, the Wall Street Journal took readers on a tour of some of Kentucky's greatest stud farms, where retired racehorses go to grow old… » 6/08/13 11:20am 6/08/13 11:20am

Ray Lewis Is A Complicated Problem Who Played Football With Simple…

It's easy enough to be cynical about Ray Lewis, after the 17-year veteran linebacker announced his impending retirement yesterday. In the foreground, there's the recent image of Lewis, now that the years have reduced his ability to contribute on-field: the ridiculous, spasmodic dancing; the incessant sideline… » 1/03/13 3:00pm 1/03/13 3:00pm

Hideki Matsui To Announce Retirement, Will Have Plenty Of Time To Enjoy…

According to multiple reports, former Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui is set to announce his retirement from baseball. Matsui played seven seasons with the Yankees before making one-year stops with the Angels, Athletics, and Rays. He will always be remembered for collecting big hits in Game 6 of the 2003 ALCS and… » 12/27/12 4:15pm 12/27/12 4:15pm

Bud Selig Pinky-Swears He'll Retire When His Contract Ends In 2014

No one seriously believes that Bud Selig is anywhere close to retiring, because it would be such an unfathomable thought to have a MLB commissioner actually capable of adapting with the times or that anyone would give up such unabated autonomy as the MLB owners have bestowed on him. Nonetheless, The Bud insists we've … » 7/31/12 9:10pm 7/31/12 9:10pm