Boston Fails To Celebrate Like It's Been There Before

It's probably too late now, but since the Red Sox have won three championships over the past 10 seasons, perhaps this advice will come in handy again in the near future: On the night of a possible World Series clincher, don't park anywhere near Fenway. » 10/31/13 9:07am 10/31/13 9:07am

Some rhymes for your fan-pride video, courtesy Spencer Hall: "I rep Vandy, and roll candy/ paint on the drop, Anchor Down like your pops/ on your mom, your sis, and twice on your girl/ My degree gets paper like gheri gets curl." [EDSBS] » 8/20/13 5:15pm 8/20/13 5:15pm

Bro Rolls Two-And-A-Half Pound Joint, Gets It Confiscated By The Cops

If you're ever going to roll a two-and-a-half pound joint, I guess 4/20 at UC Santa Cruz is the day to do it. Also, "butthurt" is a term that we are wary of throwing around, but that bro is the definition of butthurt. » 4/22/13 10:59am 4/22/13 10:59am

Harvard's Basketball Team Works Better Than Harvard

Sometimes Harvard Yard literally smells like bullshit. The grass takes a regular beating from the weather and the footsteps of mathematicians eager to find the shortest path to class. So, a few times a year, to spruce it up for the brochures and the visiting parents, the grounds crew gives it a fat coating of organic… » 3/22/13 3:21pm 3/22/13 3:21pm

The 13 Most Annoying Men Of March Madness

We've done enough loving on March Madness this week. March Madness is a wonderful time of the year, but it is also to be hated on: The fluffy mascots dancing around like they own the place, the pepped-out pep squads cheering like they actually believe in something, the crabby coaches, the clueless announcers, and the… » 3/21/13 11:20am 3/21/13 11:20am

There Will Be No More Kegs Or Student U-Hauls At Yale Athletic Events

After one woman was run over at the Harvard-Yale tailgate in November, Yale announced today that they've banned kegs and student-driven trucks from the tailgate, which will now end at kickoff. Guess that means more Ivy League football for all? » 1/20/12 11:50am 1/20/12 11:50am

Trinity's Obnoxious 13-Year Squash Winning Streak Is Finally Over,…

The longest and most annoying win streak in the history of college sports is finally over. The Yale men's squash team defeated Trinity College 5-4 last night, ending the team's 13-year, 252-match undefeated streak that will be remembered for reminding us, approximately once a year, that squash is a sport that people… » 1/19/12 11:55am 1/19/12 11:55am

A Day At Harvard-Yale And Its Tragic Tailgate

NEW HAVEN, Conn.—I could tell you about dropping by the Yale crew alumni tailgate on Saturday, and taking a shot of Jim Beam with a slice of prosciutto, but that's not the reason the Game's 2011 tailgate will forever be the Tailgate. We'll now call it the Tailgate because three women there got run over by a U-Haul,… » 11/21/11 4:40pm 11/21/11 4:40pm

Duke Basketball Made More Insufferable With Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide"…

Midnight Madness took place last weekend. Lots of people do insufferable things during Midnight Madness, and increasingly, they do those insufferable things on camera. This is no longer limited to a drunk sorority girl's iPhone filming from the upper deck, muffled by screams and excited shaking hands, because now… » 10/19/11 4:15pm 10/19/11 4:15pm

In Michigan, The Grandmas Shotgun Beers Better Than You

Who says you can never relive the glory days? Who says you can't do it at age 85, in a parking lot, wearing a pair of jorts and a Michigan Wolverines windbreaker as you inhale the contents of a Keystone Light Michelob Ultra in just under ten seconds? This is what dreams (and Cirrhosis) are made of, America. » 9/19/11 10:20am 9/19/11 10:20am

Maryland Athletics Requests That Students Refrain From Yelling "Fuck…

A few tipsters have passed along the mass email that Maryland's Athletic Director, Kevin Anderson, sent out to the entire student body some of the university's students yesterday. In it, Anderson requests that Maryland students refrain from "aggressive and offensive behavior," such as confronting 11-year-old football… » 9/13/11 12:05pm 9/13/11 12:05pm

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Libyan Rebel Edition

This young man is Chris Jeon. He is a 21-year-old UCLA math major and he recently decided to take a vacation to the Libyan revolution. He brought a throwback Jerry West jersey with him. » 9/01/11 8:00pm 9/01/11 8:00pm

Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The…

The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions. » 8/31/11 1:40pm 8/31/11 1:40pm

Pac-12 Releases A Highfalutin Hype Video That Arizona State Students…

We've provided here the full transcription of the purplest and most thesaurus-dependent prose to ever grace a promotional video for a college football conference. College football is back, you guys. Let me rephrase that: college football is back with "an avant garde redesign of the competitive balance." That's… » 7/26/11 3:50pm 7/26/11 3:50pm

Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier

The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season tickets that had… » 7/15/11 5:40pm 7/15/11 5:40pm

Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University

Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean. » 5/16/11 12:45pm 5/16/11 12:45pm

College Students Celebrate Bin Laden's Death With Patriotic Backflips,…

In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America. » 5/02/11 6:15pm 5/02/11 6:15pm