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Trinity's Obnoxious 13-Year Squash Winning Streak Is Finally Over, Thanks To Obnoxious Yalies

The longest and most annoying win streak in the history of college sports is finally over. The Yale men's squash team defeated Trinity College 5-4 last night, ending the team's 13-year, 252-match undefeated streak that will be remembered for reminding us, approximately once a year, that squash is a sport that people…

Maryland Athletics Requests That Students Refrain From Yelling "Fuck You" At 11-Year-Olds During Football Games

A few tipsters have passed along the mass email that Maryland's Athletic Director, Kevin Anderson, sent out to the entire student body some of the university's students yesterday. In it, Anderson requests that Maryland students refrain from "aggressive and offensive behavior," such as confronting 11-year-old football…

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Pac-12 Releases A Highfalutin Hype Video That Arizona State Students Won't Be Able To Understand

We've provided here the full transcription of the purplest and most thesaurus-dependent prose to ever grace a promotional video for a college football conference. College football is back, you guys. Let me rephrase that: college football is back with "an avant garde redesign of the competitive balance." That's…