Stephen A. Smith Delivers Movie-Villain Monologue On First Take

Stephen A. Smith, ESPN’s professional unintelligible empanada truck, tried to drop exclusive information about Kevin Durant’s free agency last week. Durant scoffed, saying that he, his family, and his friends don’t talk to Smith. Smith had a rebuttal to that rebuttal, touting his supposed insider sources and ending… »10/05/15 1:26pm10/05/15 1:26pm

I'm Just Saying, Skip Bayless Would Be A Happier Dude If He Ate Some Popeye's

For the last two years, the only times I’ve thought very much about Skip Bayless have been whenever I remember that his diet is a cross between that of a dorm room gamer-hermit and that of a long-term fallout shelter resident, the specifics of which we found out in a Washington Post profile from 2013: »9/14/15 6:15pm9/14/15 6:15pm

Sources: ESPN First Take Boss In Talks With NBC To Produce Today Show

ESPN vice president Jamie Horowitz, the midwife of Bristol's "Embrace Debate" era that made us all a little dumber, has been approached by NBC to take control of the Today show, according to two sources. A deal appears likely, we're told, though Horowitz still has to extract himself from his contract with ESPN. At the… »1/27/14 4:00pm1/27/14 4:00pm

Skip Bayless Is Making Up Shit About The NFL And JFK's Assassination

We all remember where we were and what we were doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Skip Bayless, as is his habit, even remembers things that seemingly didn't actually happen. The First Take embrace debate train rolled through Dealey Plaza on Friday and argued over whether the NFL should have canceled the… »11/24/13 11:17am11/24/13 11:17am

Who Is The Most Pompous Sports Pundit? A Scientific Investigation

Of all the stupid rhetorical plays columnists use—issuing thundering imperatives, positioning their banal opinions as the exact midpoints between varieties of unyielding madness, championing their cronies' worthless businesses as examples of the disciplinary power of markets, etc. etc.—the funniest are always the ones… »9/25/13 3:40pm9/25/13 3:40pm

Why The Young Harry Caray Was The Best Broadcaster In Baseball

Excerpted from From Black Sox to Three-Peats: A Century of Chicago's Best Sports Writing (University of Chicago Press), edited by Ron Rapoport and featuring stories from the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun-Times, the Chicago Daily News, and the Chicago Defender, among other papers. It's an excellent collection, and… »9/19/13 2:06pm9/19/13 2:06pm