Just Read The Damn Book: Welcome To The Sweetness Bash

Between 2003 and 2009, I wrote four books. That means, on four different occasions, I've gone through the your-book-is-out-so-pimp-it-to-the-max drill of AM local news television interviews ("So Jim, why write a book about the '87 Mets?"); call-in sports talk radio shows ("You couldn't carry Lupica's jock, you ass… »10/06/11 3:45pm10/06/11 3:45pm


Starting In The Basement: A Day At Open Tryouts For The NBA's D-League

One of the first things that Jay Larranaga, head coach of the Erie Bayhawks, tells the 35 players who have paid $150 apiece to possibly have a shot at maybe earning a spot on his NBA Development League team, is that they are not really talented. Well, he doesn't say it exactly like that. But everyone knows what he… »10/03/11 4:00pm10/03/11 4:00pm

How Has Steve Bartman Avoided Showing Up On The Internet After All These Years?

It seems strange—miraculous, even—that sites like ours or other media outlets have yet to catch even a glimpse of Steve Bartman post-hibernation. No candid cellphone pic popping up on a Chicagoan's Facebook page. No first-hand account of a Bartman sighting at the laundromat or the gym or an Applebee's in Schaumburg.… »9/28/11 9:40am9/28/11 9:40am

John Lackey And The Convenient Myth Of The Boston Spotlight

It may or may not be true that some players simply can't cut it in Boston. But it's an absolute truism that everyone in Boston wants it to be true. In a vacuum, the obvious question is "did John Lackey's personal issues, including his marital problems and wife's illness, contribute to a sub-par season?" Instead, the… »9/26/11 1:45pm9/26/11 1:45pm

Pearl Jam Fan Notes: Joe Buck Talks About The Night Eddie Vedder Made Him Squeal

My homework assignment from my good friends at Deadspin was to write about my interaction with Pearl Jam and in particular Eddie Vedder in honor of their 20th Anniversary. The difficulty in this assignment is writing it without coming off like a name-dropping ass. Well for those of you who don't like me—enjoy, and for… »9/22/11 3:45pm9/22/11 3:45pm

The Surfer Grifter: The Weird Tale Of Hannah Cornett And Her $20K Vegas Hotel Bill (UPDATE)

The name on the hotel room at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas was Hanna Cornett. Sometimes she goes by Hannah, with two H's. Her Wikipedia page describes her as a "professional actor, surfer, and model." Her age is usually given as 29, but she's two years older than that. According to some of her online CVs, she's also… »9/15/11 10:00am9/15/11 10:00am

"Let's Get This Clown Out Of Here": We Crashed ESPN's State Of The Union Address And Got Caught

Let's make one thing clear up top: Norby invited me. That would be Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president of production. I have the email right here. Sent from TalentOffice@espn.com at 4:09 p.m. on Aug. 5. Subject line: "2011 'State of the Union' Talent Meeting - Sent on Behalf of Norby Williamson." It… »8/26/11 6:23pm8/26/11 6:23pm

Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League

Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a sneaking suspicion… »8/23/11 7:15pm8/23/11 7:15pm

Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control

Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds a handful of… »8/17/11 2:20pm8/17/11 2:20pm

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book

Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspires to: using… »8/15/11 4:07pm8/15/11 4:07pm

Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable

It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico called it, while… »8/10/11 3:00pm8/10/11 3:00pm