Mario Balotelli Does Things (Including Wayne Rooney's Prostitute)

It's been a banner week in Super Mario World. Saturday, Balotelli scored two goals, fought over who got to take a free kick, was offered for sale by his manager, did or didn't get in a postmatch fight in the locker room, and yesterday, crashed his Bentley in Manchester. » 4/06/12 3:45pm 4/06/12 3:45pm

Bolton Win One For Muamba

From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at tips@deadspin.com. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than-never EPL guide.)
» 3/28/12 7:18pm 3/28/12 7:18pm

Oh Look, An Empty Threat To Bench Wayne Rooney For A Year

After a red card in England's draw with Montenegro, Wayne Rooney will miss the first one or two games (depending on a disciplinary hearing) of next summer's European Championship. With three big warm-up matches before the tournament, England manager Fabio Capello is supposedly contemplating using Rooney as a sub, to… » 10/10/11 12:45pm 10/10/11 12:45pm

Is Wayne Rooney's $50,000 Hair Transplant Responsible For His…

Wayne Rooney was stressed. He'd had a rotten World Cup. The tabloids were accusing him of cheating on his pregnant wife with a prostitute. And his hair was falling out. So he did something about the hair. Now the sports magi can speculate about whatever tonic explains Rooney's bristling performance this season (five… » 8/31/11 3:25pm 8/31/11 3:25pm

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This…

We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and together the whole… » 5/09/11 11:35am 5/09/11 11:35am

Here's Your Champions League Open Thread

Two games on this afternoon: Shakhtar Donetsk takes on Barcelona at Donbass Arena, and Manchester United hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium. They both start at 2:45, and with Chelsea down a goal on aggregate, they must win to advance. But Wayne Rooney, threat to already-cursing children everywhere, is allowed to… » 4/12/11 2:30pm 4/12/11 2:30pm

Here's Video Of Wayne Rooney's Brilliant Goal For Manchester United Today

The English Premier League match between first-place Manchester United and third-place Manchester City was tied at 1 in the 78th minute ... until cheeky boy Wayne Rooney fielded a pass from Nani roughly 10 yards from goal. His upper-corner, overhead-kick game-winner was the stuff of highlight legend. » 2/12/11 3:30pm 2/12/11 3:30pm