Phantastic: Yep, that's a Chase Utley jersey. Yes, it's painted on. Yes, those are real. We hope. (Safe for offices that allow you to look at painted tits. Otherwise, no.) [Home Run Derby] • I recognize that Fielder Paunch anywhere: It's every eight-year-old's favorite game, Guess The Batting Stance. My Alan Trammell used to be impeccable. [Simon on Sports] • Don't hold your breath: For those of you who want to know how to get your site featured in Blogdome: Live to be 90 and then we'll talk. [Furman Bisher, via Sports On The Air] • The C stands for "The Coolest": Who is the best captain in the NHL? There's only one captain for me, and that's Captain Stubing. [Going Five Hole] • You're not helping: When people wonder why Major League Soccer hasn't totally caught on with the American public yet ... this is why. [Stet Sports]