ESPN's Adam Schefter Has The Most Adorable Facebook Page

Facebook rolled out its Timeline feature earlier this year, and the redesign makes the site even creepier than it was before. Facebook transformed from a site obsessed with one's present to a site obsessed with one's present and one's past. Users are meant to delineate major life events and use Timeline as a chronicle of their exploits in the digital age. The interface then serves as a ready-made obituary when users die.

Anyway, as you've probably learned on Facebook, most users hate Timeline. Not ESPN's Adam Schefter, though, who has filled in this thing more assiduously than Mark Zuckerberg has.

At the top of his personal timeline, Schefter talks about his new labradoodles. This is nothing new. It just makes him a poor man's Peter King. But the rest of it is so much richer. This is really all you need to see to get the picture:

Hunan Gourmet! The car at Valley Stream! Not since Capturing the Friedmans have we been so vividly transported to bygone days on Long Island. But Schefter ditched the burbs. That's what "Moved to Ann Arbor, Michigan" means. He left Billy Joel in the rear-view and went on to stardom. And the island was worse off without him. Hunan Gourmet closed. Foodtown's CEO embezzled millions from the company and drove the supermarket into bankruptcy. And Pretty Face? Pretty Face died.

Adam Schefter [Facebook]