Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Knock Out Video." Tonight's commentator: Tyler, "a concerned sports fan from Chicago" who recorded said KO Video. (Coming next week: The previously mentioned Lady Wildin' in the Streets of Philadelphia.)
Let me paint you a picture of my stroll home from the bars in Bloomington, IL on Saturday.
My buddy and I were walking home from Elroy's after $3 pitcher night... Woof. We were down visiting our college buddies and we saw an altercation a-brewing.
I had to take out ye old iPhone and try to capture a modest Instagram video of the transpirations. Once I realized the magnitude of the event, I deleted the vid off Instagram and began a hammered-drunk focus group of first-time viewers to make sure this wasn't a shitty vid. The reactions were outstanding.
I'm not 100% sure what they were arguing about, but the dude who got knocked out was talkin a whole bunch of BS and deserved the knockout blow.
His friends were holding him back and telling him to shut the hell up and walk away. I guess that when you've got too many cocktails in your system, you don't know when to quit.
There were cops parked about 50 feet from the incident. They swung by the parking lot about a minute after the fact, asked one question (that I couldn't hear) and peeled out to presumably catch up with the jokester that delivered the prize-winner.
The shit you see on $3 pitcher night rivals it all. I think these guys just need to take a step back and realize that they're in "Southern Illinois."
What came to fruition was something out of a fairy tale. It really elevated my night to where it needed to be.
And now, the rest of the Tuesday Night Fights:
• The White-On-White Violence Enterlude:
• From the Dead Sea to Vietnam, a chair-fighting epidemic spreads. Now, it includes attempted fuckin'-motorbike theft. (Start of Violence, instantly)
• Black Chick Vs. White Guy. Who ya got? (SoV, 7:34)
• Hey look, bicyclists and motorists don't get along in Belgorod, either! (SoV, 0:22)
• The Hungarian Bar Fight Intermission Report:
• Bare-ass Waffle House brawl, yo. (SoV, instantly)
• Takes a soldier to restore order at the Fresno Fair, yo. (SoV, instantly)
• It's been said that Tonga won this lawn-battle vs. Samoa. But, you be the judge. (SoV, 0:16)
• Tappin' Out And Pattin' Asses Outside The Saluki Bar Intermezzo:
• Young ladies, brawlin' at the bus stop in Albuquerque. (SoV, 0:22)
• The city don't know that the city is getting the creme de la creme of the lady street-scrap world. (SoV, 0:14)
• One-punch KO on tha links. (SoV, 0:10)
• Summer Jam Slam Live Look-In:
• TNF's Beijing Correspondent shares "Punches And Blood On The Guangzhou Metro" (SoV, 0:12).
• Overhead shot of a brawl on Punt Road, somewhere in Australia. (SoV, instantly)
• Dominos, Mufuahs Intermission Report:
• Party Rock is in Normanton toniiiight. (SoV, 0:14)
• Others: "Girl fight brutal street." "Briga de Rua Mexicano contra Americano STREET FIGHT!" "bahaha crazy girl beatdown the one with jersey." "Wild Georgia Street Fight." "Full Raw Brawl Black Students Fight White Police At Granny's Restaurant CCTV Detroit." "Brandon beat down." "Lady street fight."
• The End of Summer Maryland Boardwalk Brawl Coda: