A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions

By
Barry Petchesky
We may earn a commission from links on this page.

Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult.

Watch
How running an NFL team is like running a restaurant | Chef Emeril Lagasse
Subtitles
  • Off
  • English
Is Texas or Florida State a bigger national title contender? | Agree to Disagree
September 13, 2023
Are Tua and Tyreek the best duo in the NFL? | Agree to Disagree
September 13, 2023

A sadistic sulky mountain, disgruntled.

Disgruntled,
Disgruntled,
Disgruntled.

Pain in the locker room, thorn in the side, waste of roster space.

Discontented malcontent, fickle painful volatile handful. Motivationally-challenged mess. Ten-dollar underachiever.

Advertisement

A controversial character-concern with character issues. So-called troubled, talented and troubled, troubling troublesome trouble.

Horrible aching pain in the gall bladder.