Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates.

Keep in mind, these break-in weather updates have not actually taken place yet. But everyone is just assuming they will, because what TV station wouldn't love to interrupt the most watched program of the year to remind everyone that Dixie's No. 1 cloud watching team has got their back. (Plus, it's Birmingham. Sleet qualifies for breaking news in this town.) It probably doesn't help when the Donald Rumsfeld of SEC football, Paul Finebaum, scared the bejezzus out of everyone by convincing them that the game interruptions would definitely happen and allegedly called ABC weatherman James Spann a "fraud."


Yet, the station was besieged with "personal, nasty threats" for not yet doing something that they never said they would do in the first place. The station has been forced to repeatedly promise that they won't steal one second of precious football from the locals' picture boxes. "What's that? Grandma got caught in a 37-car pileup on I-20? PUT THE GAME BACK ON, A-HOLES!"

Seriously, Alabama. You need to chill the fuck out. Your beef is obviously with God, not Channel 33, and you wouldn't want any of your hateful curses/desperate pleas for mercy to inadvertently tilt the game to the Longhorns. There are many more terrible things He can make rain from the sky, remember?


hold The Hate Mail [ABC 33/40 Weather Blog]
Bama TV Station Swamped With Hate Mail For Possible MNC Game Weather Reports [Roll Bama Roll]