In a blog earlier this morning, I made the brave and extremely correct observation that the New York Yankees are a wicked, awful baseball team that deserves to play its home games on fields of fire and brimstone in the very pit of Hell itself.
Shockingly, this not-at-all provocative take prompted some very mean responses from Yankees fans. But within your typical Dead Letters flotsam, with their awkward line breaks and excessive question marks, there was a rare gem. This beautiful poem comes from a displeased reader named Richard Vitagliano. I sincerely love it, so we’re reprinting it in full.
The NewYork Yankees are truly the very very very best,
Upon a pedestal so very high for all the others who wish to test.
Haters come from so so far and wide all over the country side,
All of them wanting to fly that sacred cloth,
More than any team in any sport never mind that team to the north.
Come October we truly see where the greatest are at,
While the team up north goes home to admire their kid with the gifted bat.
One team out west has a player that is as good as any,
But the sacred cloth I really dont see too many.
So please please hold your breath as the team up north crowns a young new king,
Oh and pay close attention as the NY YANKEES WIN THIS THING!!!
If you yourself have any AL East-related poetry, or if you’d prefer to just call me names because I know and speak the truth about the Yankees, please reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Keep in mind that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified.