We've been slogging through the Bitchy Bracket for two weeks now, and at last we've come to our Final Four of thin-skinned, defensive, repulsive fanboys. And what a Final Four it is! We've got a 1-seed, a 2-seed, a rampaging 4-seed peaking at the right time, and we have a Cinderella story in the 8th-seeded Red Sox fans, because of course Red Sox fans would be a scrappy underdog when they really aren't. ANOTHAH TRIUMPH OF SCRAPPITUDE FAHHHH THE FANS OF DEAD LEN BIAS NATION.

Anyway, here are your semifinal matchups:

Red Sox Fans (8) vs. Christian Conservatives (1)

Will your hatred of Boston sports override your possible distaste for half of America's population? I KINDA THINK IT WILL!

Anti-Vax Nuts (2) vs. Beliebers (4)

Before you automatically go reaching for that BELIEBERS button, please consider who you're keeping from the championship…


Put some real thought into your vote, because these people don't put any thought into anything. Vote below. Polls close at noon on Monday.