Screenshot: FMRedhawks (Twitter)

Most sports meltdowns burn out quickly or overstay their welcome and become a bore. But sometimes, a rare and precious freakout pushes beyond that second phase, transcending a few moments of hotheadedness and continuing off into the realm of High Art. Brennan Metzger achieved such a feat last night.

Late in a tied ballgame between the Chicago Dogs and the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks of the American Association of Independent Professional Baseball, umpire Mike Jarboe punched out Metzger on a called third strike. Metzger was so furious that he got in Jarboe’s face, got himself tossed, then returned to the scene of the crime carrying a new house for Jarboe. It was wonderful.

Someone get this guy on a big-league roster tomorrow.