Anthony Rizzo was thought to be done for the regular season after he rolled his ankle on a divot while trying to field a bunt on Sunday against the Pirates. Shortly after the game, the Cubs announced he would have to wear a walking boot for the duration of his recovery. But Cubs fans were given a welcome surprise on Thursday, when it was announced that Rizzo would return to the starting lineup against the Cardinals, a subject which the fine folks at The Onion covered quite well:
Known for having a flair for the dramatic on the field, Rizzo decided to add to the spectacle of his return by switching up his walk-up music to the theme of WWE legend The Undertaker.
But it was his second plate appearance that truly punctuated his return. In the bottom of the third, Rizzo smoked a 95-mph pitch from Jack Flaherty to left-center field to tie up the game at one run apiece.
Who would’ve thought that The Onion could also be an excellent source of medical advice for professional athletes?