Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Illustration for article titled Are You Ready For Some Football?

Quick refresher: The game of American football is a competitive team sport known for its physical roughness. The object of the game is to score points by advancing the pointed-oval shaped ball into the opposing team's end zone. Good? OK, let's set-up these one o'clock games then ...

• Dolphins at Browns, CBS. Running back Ronnie Brown aims to become the first Dolphin since Ricky Williams to record four consecutive 100-yard rushing games ... stoned.

• Texans at Jaguars, CBS. What's the NFL going to do when super-kickers like Kris Brown start hitting 70, 80-yard field-goals regularly? Any ideas?

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• Rams at Ravens, FOX. Frerotte Is Fr'Real. Word.

• Vikings at Bears, FOX. Holy shit, most of these one o'clock games suck ass. I would rather watch an interpretive dance special than half of this garbage.

• Bengals at Chiefs, CBS. Besides Moss, Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe is the only player contributing anything to my fantasy team. In fact, my guys are performing so bad that I just changed my team name from "Canada Roughriders" to "Canada Dickriders." True story.

• Redskins at Packers, FOX. Hey, two teams with winning records! Cool!I think the Redskins secondary is going to be too much for Favre today. I like the Skins by about 40. *Unsilent hands Skeets a crisp $20*

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• Eagles at Jets, FOX. Let's go Rams!

• Titans at Bucs, CBS. Here's a fun little fact: Since moving to Tennessee in 1997, the Titans have never lost a game to any of the four NFC South teams. Here's another one: I've never lost a game of NHL '94 on the Sega Genesis. Ever.

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