Are You Ready For Some Football?

Quick refresher: The game of American football is a competitive team sport known for its physical roughness. The object of the game is to score points by advancing the pointed-oval shaped ball into the opposing team's end zone. Good? OK, let's set-up these one o'clock games then ...

• Dolphins at Browns, CBS. Running back Ronnie Brown aims to become the first Dolphin since Ricky Williams to record four consecutive 100-yard rushing games ... stoned.

• Texans at Jaguars, CBS. What's the NFL going to do when super-kickers like Kris Brown start hitting 70, 80-yard field-goals regularly? Any ideas?

• Rams at Ravens, FOX. Frerotte Is Fr'Real. Word.

• Vikings at Bears, FOX. Holy shit, most of these one o'clock games suck ass. I would rather watch an interpretive dance special than half of this garbage.

• Bengals at Chiefs, CBS. Besides Moss, Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe is the only player contributing anything to my fantasy team. In fact, my guys are performing so bad that I just changed my team name from "Canada Roughriders" to "Canada Dickriders." True story.

• Redskins at Packers, FOX. Hey, two teams with winning records! Cool!I think the Redskins secondary is going to be too much for Favre today. I like the Skins by about 40. *Unsilent hands Skeets a crisp $20*

• Eagles at Jets, FOX. Let's go Rams!

• Titans at Bucs, CBS. Here's a fun little fact: Since moving to Tennessee in 1997, the Titans have never lost a game to any of the four NFC South teams. Here's another one: I've never lost a game of NHL '94 on the Sega Genesis. Ever.