Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel

In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together.

People have been trying to crack the "Daily Show for Sports" code for a while now. Versus has "Sports Soup". ESPN had "Mohr Sports," which was worse than prison AIDS. And now, The Onion will give it a shot. AND WITHOUT DJ GALLO! THE NERVE OF THESE PRICKS!

The Onion is teaming with Comedy Central to produce a half-hour scripted comedy pilot based on the Onion Sports Network website.


You have to like the chances of any entity that composes a headline such as, "Bruce Bowen Fouls Back In." Even if said entity is populated by Brooklyn hipsters who probably don't actually watch sports (like Deadspin is!). Bonus points to The Onion if Smoov B and Jim Anchower are hired as field correspondents. Carlos Mencia is already fast-tracking the exact same show idea.

Now, this program will probably require a writing staff. Sure, I‘m told The Onion only pays its writing staff in oats, but still. WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY. I daresay we have some commenters here that would be more than qualified to work for such a program. So let's use the comments section as an audition space. If they don't hire Gourmet Spud out of this, I don't believe in nuthin' no more.

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