Atletico Madrid kick themselves in the ass to death

Let’s give a round of applause to Atletico Madrid, for the most batshit exit from the Champions League, as well as for signaling the end of an era for their club.

The Diego Simeone era very well may have run its course, as Atletico have looked more and more bereft of creative ideas which is no longer being balanced out by their customary defensive snarl and dedication. There was only so long that the club could revolve around and succeed by harnessing the power of Simeone’s figurative and sometimes literal middle fingers, and we may be there.

Atletico had to beat a mostly clueless Bayer Leverkusen to stay alive in the Champions League Wednesday. They were mostly awful throughout the match. They fell behind twice, though were able to Forrest Gump their way to tie it twice. The match’s last action was an Atletico corner, their last attempt to blow Bayer’s house down after 10 or 20 minutes of just balloon-handed huffing and puffing. It went by the wayside, and the final whistle blew, except VAR went searching for maybe the most ridiculous handball call in recent history:

Which meant the ref called everyone back onto the field for a penalty, which Atletico managed to blow three times.

Now that’s how you burn down all that’s left of what you’ve built over the preceding decade. No slow decay, full Nero, full Cersei. Chef’s kiss.