ajd Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Charlie Sheen
Like the rest of us, Charlie Sheen will die one day, but for a man to so blatantly defy whatever mores that exists in the universe while he fast-tracks to death is truly winner-worthy....
Jay Cutler Is Able To Windowshop In LA Without A Cane Because He's A Quitter
Just look at him, all vesty and smug. HOW DARE HE not limp in public. He's no gladiator. His heart is weak. WEAK, I tell you, like a kitten's wrist. I'm spitting at the monitor as I write this.[TMZ]...
A Former UConn Football Player Puts Robert Burton In His Place
Booster Robert Burton made some news yesterday thanks to the obnoxious letter he sent to UConn's athletic director, Jeff Hathaway, explaining why he will no longer donate money to the school's football program. Robert Lunn, a former UConn player, responds....
Will Hill Would Like Everyone To Know He "Does Not Go Harder Than A Russian," Shit In Airports, Etc.
Will Hill, the ex-Gator who's taking his boob-massaging talents to the NFL, went to the airwaves to deny authorship of his Twitter feed, which was lovingly annotated by Spencer Hall of EDSBS last week. Sadly, Hill claims he was hacked....
When Kim Kardashian Sits Courtside, Fans Look To The Backside
This photo from yesterday's Nets game comes courtesy of those wonderful gif-happy gents at The Basketball Jones (happy belated birthday to them, btw). It's like these fellas have never seen a person with Steatopygia before....
Jay Cutler Is Tougher Than The Toughest Tough Guy, Say Tough-Talking Defenders Of His Toughness
It's been almost a full day since Jay Cutler's mopey face and medial-collateral ligament severity and tears were dissected by every human who's ever watched football, I'm still stuck on this question: Is Jay Cutler TOUGH? [PFT, Chicago Tribune, NKOTB]...
Is It Better Or Worse That The "Jew" York Jets Typo Happened In Kentucky?
Stereotypes helping stereotypes over at WLKY. [LouisvilleKY.com]...
According To One Anonymous Witness, There Was Ultra-Violence Against Pack Fans At Soldier Field (UPDATE)
Hopefully, there's some major embellishment going on in this Craig's List apology letter from a Chicago fan or else it appears one Cheesehead got the "Chinatown" treatment yesterday....
Charles Tillman, Esteemed "Ball-Puncher"
The Chicago Tribune does its best to intimidate Packer receivers. (Click image for largeness) (H/T Joe Z.)[Chicago Tribune]...
Knock-Off American Sports Apparel In Bangladesh Is Magnificent
Photographer Jason Miklian is working in the Dhaka and captured a young man wearing this insane sweatshirt, which brilliantly encompasses how some cultures interpret America's fashion sense when it comes to team gear....
Devin Hester Is New Monthly Daddy Columnist For <em>Chicago Parent</em>
"Hangin' with Devin" will debut in April. Hopefully, New York Parent will let Antonio Cromartie begin his own column titled "Hangin' With Jurzie, Alonzo, Caris, Antonio, Jr., Tyler, Leilani, London, Daughter, and Whatsherface?" soon. [Chicago Parent]...
Your Vile, Insensitive Comments Have Been Put On Notice, Swine
"For a site whose taste is questioned regularly, the entry lacked the snark and ridicule the site makes its bones with. When one scrolls down to the comment section, however, humanity quickly fades." boomroasted[HuffyPo]...
Blake Griffin's Rookie Card Is Quickly Becoming Very Expensive
"[C]urrent asking prices for that card, or variations of it, have reached as high as $14,999."[The Knight's Lance]...
There Are Photos For Sale Of Tennis Pros Getting A Lap Dance, Menstruating
Back into the shit-pit we dive. An enterprising amateur photographer asks if we'd like to spend our scuzz-money on some awful photos of two professional tennis players. Vamanos....
Masseuse Claims She Received Lewd Texts From Vikings Players, Including Brett Favre (NSFW)
Brett Favre's come-ons to massage therapists weren't limited to the two women with the New York Jets. Stephanie Dusenberry, an independent masseuse in Eden Prairie, Minn., who has worked with a number of Vikings players, claims that Favre sent her innuendo-laden text messages last September. She con...
Victory Sled Ends Tragically For One Happy Jets Fan
"46-year-old Raymond Larsen celebrated the Jets win by sledding down his steep driveway in a Mark Sanchez jersey. The sled vaulted into the road below, and Larsen was killed by an oncoming motorist." [PFT via Staten Island Advance]...
Boston's Pro Lacrosse Team President Apologizes For Inexplicable Halftime Lap Dance Contest
Well aware it'll take more than Frisbee-catching dogs to keep a fickle crowd entertained at halftime, the Boston Blazers opted for an edgier show to the disappointment of families who brought young kids to TD Garden Saturday night....
The Public Demand To Rip Apart The "This Is Indiana" Rap Video Is Undeniable
So we'll oblige. Now, before you skewer, please keep in mind that these young lads devoted many, many hours into making IU a viral Christian Lander joke. Fire when ready. [Brice Fox and Daniel Weber]...
For Those Who'd Like To Do Something Better On Super Bowl Sunday Than Watching Football
It's a non-sports event for Charles Bock, author of Beautiful Children, who's been a surprisingly avid Deadspin supporter. His family's going through a hardship. Modern lit fans and do-gooders should consider attending and/or donating. Thanks for your consideration. [World'sMostLiteraryRentPartyEver...
Arrowhead Parking Lot Orgies Are More Common Than One Would Think
As many Kansas City radio deejays desperately search for the couple in that photo up above, one commenter pointed us to a Craig's List posting from last week which may lead to some answers — or more questions....