ajd Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin Is Hiring
As some of you may have heard, there are big, scary changes happening all across the Gawker MEDIA network, including here. In the spirit of big, scary change, we hope to add some staff to the Deadspin masthead in 2011....

Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...

"Dude Getting Blown By A Dog" Gets Surprising Odds In 2010 SHOTY Awards
Bodog.com summoned one of its bookmakers to analyze the favorites for this year's ridiculous little Sports Human of the Year competition. They are listed after the jump. This for entertainment purposes only. I think....

And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......

Pink Blackberry Cover Girl Is Not Jen Patterson, Jen Patterson Says
I-Team mystery solved. Please have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow. [JenPatterson's Twitter]...

At FSU-Florida Tailgates, Beer-Bonging May Be Interrupted By An Ass-Jiggling Gal Falling Off A Pick-up Truck
Hopefully, the poor girl in the huge sunglasses got to finally suck down that funnel she'd been diligently training for all day. She seemed rattled. [YouTube]...

Steve Johnson's Dropped Pass Has Caused Him To Seriously Rethink His Devotion To A Higher Power
The usually sure-handed wide out comes to the realization that, no matter how hard he prays, there are powerful forces working against the Buffalo Bills. Nobody circles the wagons like Almighty God. [Twitter]...

Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...

"Watching My Shirtless, Bloody Friend Hug His Grandma At 9 A.M. Was Pretty Awesome"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

"Brawl For It All 2008"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings...

All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....

Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....

Your Annual "I'm Watching This Because I Have Calvin Johnson On My Fantasy Team" Open Thread
This could be one of those 50-10 Thanksgiving blowouts the Lions have semi-traditionally served-up for turkey-banging America, but in this kooky NFL season, Shaun Hill could have the game of his life. Yell about all the pre-feast drama, right here....

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

This Is How The MLS Champion Colorado Rapids Drunkenly Celebrate Victory
By bar-hopping in costumes. And they let a writer from the Denver MetroMix tag along for the celebration. Well, some of it. Then he was summarily kicked off the party bus. I'm shocked Patrick Kane didn't crash the festivities. [MetroMix]...

Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...
A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....

High School Football Brawl In West Virginia Gets Really Out Of Hand
South Charleston High School vs. Hurricane. Benches cleared, haymakers were thrown, pepper spray was sprayed. Then the Ducky Boys showed up with bike chains and car antennas and things really went to shit. [WOWK]...