ajd Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Curt Schilling Is Always In Code Orange When It Comes To Autograph Hounds
"This is a poor analogy, but it's like terrorism. If autograph dealers want to get in, they will...[p]eople who have no interest in me and want me to just sign some things so they can sell them." [ESPN]...

Boink Like A Champion Today: Condom Shortage In Vancouver
Vancouver's Olympic Village is short on condoms and an emergency supply has been shipped to the sex-crazed colony to ensure that each and every athlete is safe from STDs throughout the rest of their stay....

Even Monkeys Go To Rehab
Yes, unless this report comes from an Onion-style Russian newspaper, it appears a monkey hooked on alcohol and cigarettes has been sent to rehab. The world is a vampire. [Montreal Gazette]...

Last Night's Winner: Canadian Men On Skates
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Canadian skatesmen, who prat fell onto the podium for short-track speedskating and held off the feisty Slovakians in hockey for a chance at gold against Amerika....

Sorry, ESPN, But Your Audience Does Not Want To Read About Florida QB's Dad's Prostate Cancer, Apparently
Granted, this was an odd story to have on the front page of ESPN, but it certainly didn't warrant the anonymous, angry hordes completely knee-capping the thing in the cruelest ways possible....

"The 40 Most Sexual Photos Of The Olympics," Claims Blog
Yes, I would agree that there are some very Kama Sutra-inspired photos contained in this gallery. I believe this is one the kids call "The Egyptian Magic Wheelbarrow," if I'm not mistaken....

ESPN's Scott Van Pelt Explains Why He F-Bombed
ESPN SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt has unfortunately been YouTube kindling twice this week, but has handled both incidents remarkably well. He explains last night's open mic screw-up in an email to Deadspin....

Here's An Email I Sent To Jason Whitlock That Apparently Makes Me Look Crazy
Next time, I'll type slower and send it from my iPhone. [TheSportsHernia]...

Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...

Vonn Crashes (Again) And Other Things You Already Know, But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
So that happened, but it's being shown again tonight on NBC, so feign appropriate levels of disappointment to give support to NBC's advertising sponsors. It's the least you can do....

Everyone Will See Live Hockey On Friday, NBC Says
From a memo just sent to NBC Uni staff: "The USA semifinal men's hockey game against the winner of the Czech Republic vs. Finland will be broadcast live in all time zones on NBC this Friday at 3 p.m. ET."...

A Delightful Video Of The Europa League Soccer Riot Where A Bilbao Fan Urinates On People
Number of places off the top of my head where I've seen rival fans get peed on: Vet Stadium and...hmm. Okay, that's it. [ESPN]...

Real, Live Brian Westbrook Says He Has No Plans To Retire
From 97.5TheFanatic:"My plan is to continue to play, I'm gonna put all my effort into doing that and I will make a return to the NFL. " He made no mention of Howard Stern's prostate. [SRI]...

NBC's Olympic Coverage Gives Word To Your Mother
Joannie Rochette's teary-eyed ice skating routine almost short-circuited this morning's Sap-o-meter. Seven mentions of "mom" in one night ties a record for this year's Winter Games. 10 mentions of "mother" shatters the previous mark. [Slate]...

I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...

Kornheiser Gets Two-Week Suspension For On-Air Comments, And Other Things Of Note
ESPN's John Skipper responded to the suspension of Tony Kornheiser, but there's more to the story than the press release shipped out of Bristol. Observe....

ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspension — More About Chris Berman?
As The Big Lead reported, Tony Kornheiser received a short suspension for his comments made last week about Hannah Storm's wardrobe. But there were other remarks made that day that really irked his royal Norbyness....

Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...

Stephen A. Smith Contends Tiger Woods' Apology Was Punkish, Cowardly
Stephen A., emoting: "Certainly he didn't want to address the media, and I thought that he was a punk and coward away from the real issue of addressing what transpired." Sock? Still retired. [SRI/SportingNews]...

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....