ajd Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dan Quinn, MMA Fighter/Professional Lunatic, Returns With Another Hilariously Terrifying YouTube Message
Slap on the headphones if you’re at work and brace yourself for more nonsensical trash-talk wizardry. Not Safe For Workish. [VideoGum]...
Jason Whitlock's Getting Antsy Again
Jason Whitlock, Fox Sports' professional contrarian and TRUTH-teller, playfully addresses Matt Vasgersian's MLB announcer awkwardness and declares himself "Racial Apology Czar." Oh, and he attacks Deadspin again....
If You Don't Want To Be Hassled By Nigerian Prostitutes, Don't Chew Gum
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UCONN. He graduated in 2008 and is now playing professional football - in Portchach, Austria. He's graciously shared some of the things he's experienced so far....
Swine Flu Paranoia Reaches Alabama
Huntsville, Ala.: "Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice." [ESPN.com]...
Chris Berman: King Of The Swamp Ass
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tonight Is The One Year Anniversary Of Bissinger Vs. Leitch
Last year at this time, our floppy-haired hero Emeritus was just coming off a wicked raisin binge for his big appearance on "Costas Now." Look how far we've come....
Depressing Autographed Seat Cushion Is The Only Thing That Remains Of Stephen A.'s Career
I saw this this ungodly little tchotchke at Standings Bar in the East Village, one of the best places to watch sporting events in NYC. I tried to buy it for $40. The owner refused....
So That's What They Mean By "Exploded"
Last night E:60 aired its segment on body builder Gregg Valentino's ridiculous steroid abuse. It's an old story, but that didn't stop ESPN from airing Valentino's famous arm-burst again. Warning: After-jump footage is gross....
Strawberry's Career Stats Include More Than 1,000 Vaginas
Darryl Strawberry claims he slept with more than 1,000 women. He also said the most ladies he's had at one time is three. Amateur! [Sports Radio Interviews]...
Red Sox'Owner John Henry Lets Boston Magazine Print His Lovelorn Emails To His Young Bride
Say what you will about Red Sox owner John Henry, he's a man who knows how to get what he wants. Fortune, fame, the Sox, Dice-K, and a woman 30 years younger than him....
Embrace The Goodness That Will Be 'Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals'
After making it through last season's promising Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys without any noteworthy melodrama, HBO decided it needs to inch a bit closer to full-on madness. Yes, Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals is for real....
John Daly Has Slimmed Down, Orange'd Up
I think the name of the color of that shirt is either called "Circus Peanut" or "Cat Puke." [Fanhouse]...
Keep Your Head In The Game At All Times, Even When It's Split Open
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
Fun Conspiracy Theories About ESPN.com's Pony Attack
Several emailers have pointed out an odd coincidence between ESPN.com's cornification and an interview featuring America's Sideline Princess. We may have our first real suspect....
ESPN.com's Lead Tech Guru Explains How They Were Attacked By Dancing Unicorns And Glittery Ponies
Keith Lam is the programming guy for ESPN.com and spent most of his final hour yesterday fighting off unicorns from ESPN.com's site. How did this awesomeness happen? He explains. Kind of....
You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...
The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...
You People Are Not Helping Molly Oberstar Defeat Her Overconfidence Problem
Remember this girl? Molly Oberstar? No? Me neither. But! It appears her "Exotic, European look" was enough to overcompensate for her self-absorption to win St. Paul Magazine's Real Model contest. [RandBall]...
Bruce Pearl Attempts To Use His Roguish, Swarthy Charm On Layla Kiffin
Bruce Pearl is tireless in his pursuit of younger, very attractive women. Even married mother of three, Layla Kiffin is not off-limits from his creepy advances....
Softball Season Brings Out The Best And Worst In Everyone
A good portion of New Yorkers join softball leagues for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....