albertburneko Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Not To Make Coffee
How you make coffee is, you bring the dried and roasted and probably ground seeds of a Coffea plant together with some water, typically hot, for some period of time, and this turns the water into coffee. That’s it. It is not a complicated procedure....
The Deadspin NBA Power Rankings
The 2017-18 season is exactly three weeks old today. That seems like as good a time as any to take a look around the league, see how everybody’s doing, and rank the 30 teams by their relative strength. Onward, to the rankings!...
Here Are Some Young NBA Players Who Are Butt
Many of the NBA youths are fun and good. Kristaps Porzingis, Ben Simmons, et cetera. Good youths. But in addition to the fun and good ones, there are also some youths who are sorry butt scrubs. Here is a list of some of that latter group....
Clean Up Now
A lie I tell myself with dismal regularity is Ugh, fuck, I am too tired and burned out to tidy up tonight, I’ll do it in the morning. That is not how it works. In my more caffeinated moments, this is obvious....
Giannis Is Shaq Now
Here’s a fun Giannis Antetokounmpo fact, from ESPN’s weekly NBA player rankings blog:...
The Cavaliers Stink!
Append all the ordinary caveats, of course: It’s October; they’re without Isaiah Thomas; they’re integrating what seems like a small army of new players; the East is so godawful shitty there’s basically no floor to playoff contention; and so on. Fine. But still. The Cleveland Cavaliers are not just ...
Pickle Some Stuff
No one ever—I checked; it literally has never happened—has gone, “Dang, if only I had not pickled some foodstuffs.” Does this mean pickling some foodstuffs is a good idea for you, right now, wherever you are, even if where you are right now is an important meeting in a grey conference room surrounde...
I Am Very Excited To Give Amazon The Power To Unlock The Door To My Home
Great news for insane people and morons: Amazon has disrupted the lock! Now, you can choose to pay money to grant this giant faceless hell-corporation the ability to send strangers inside your locked home when you’re not there. Just like you always wanted....
The Timberwolves' Cool Youths Mushed The Thunder
When Carmelo Anthony’s high-arcing three from the left wing splashed in, to give his Oklahoma City Thunder a 113-112 fourth-quarter lead over the Timberwolves last night, it also left just under five seconds on the game clock. Time enough for Minnesota’s Andrew Wiggins to do this:...
I Rebuke Your Bullcrap Marshmallow Roasting Tactics In The Strongest Possible Terms
Everybody likes roasting a marshmallow over a campfire or fire pit, the best of autumn’s fire-related food activities. Everybody but me! I am sick of watching the youths butcher delicious marshmallows with their amateurish roasting methods!...
Are The Celtics Still Good?
An item of conventional basketball wisdom is this: Generally speaking, if you can get a certain useful skillset in one player, that is better than getting it divided among, say, two or three players. That is why, when blockbuster trades go down, the default analysis favors the team that shipped out ...
A Timely Preview Of The 2017-18 NBA Season, Which I Am Now Hearing May Have Begun Already
That’s right, folks: The NBA is back, baby! Literally it is already back, literally the first game has already tipped off. Seems like a good time for a thorough and detailed season preview blog. I hope you know where to find one, because this one is some half-assed shit I just whipped up today!...
I Can't Stop Watching These Lovely Miloš Teodosić Passes
Maybe shaggy Serbian guard Miloš Teodosić, the Clippers’ new 30-year-old rookie, will turn out to be a matador defender. Maybe he will be an asshole who smokes clove cigarettes in the locker room and sneers at his teammates about the vulgarity of the American cinema. Maybe he will rip egg farts with...
Report: Joel Embiid's Huge Deal Lets The Sixers Dump Him If He Has A Bum Foot Or Bad Back<em></em>
When frequently injured Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid signed a five-year, $146.5 million maximum contract extension the day before yesterday, ESPN’s Zach Lowe quoted a source calling it “perhaps the most complex” contract in NBA history. Now some of that complexity is coming to light, and th...
ESPN Supports Diverse Voices If It Can Control What They Say
Yesterday, Jemele Hill, co-host of the flagship 6 p.m. edition of SportsCenter, tweeted a very obvious and uncontroversial observation about forms of protest. As part of a broader discussion about Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones’s threats to punish any player who takes part in racial injustice prot...
The Bulls Suck!
Yes, I know, it’s only the preseason, and the NBA has to shut up for at least another 10 days, if not all the days between now and Christmas. But schadenfreude never sleeps! And holy shit, man, the Chicago Bulls are gonna suck so amazingly hard this season....
The Cavs Will Go Small And Weird, Start Kevin Love At Center
The Cleveland Cavaliers will open the season with Kevin Love as their center, giving them a small and very weird starting five of Love, Jae Crowder, LeBron James, (presumably) J.R. Smith, and Derrick Rose. That’s only assuming they don’t go all-the-way bonkers and give the shooting guard job to Dwy...
Carmelo Anthony Owns Knicks One Final Time, Will Start At Power Forward For OKC
Carmelo Anthony will be Oklahoma City’s starting power forward, according to coach Billy Donovan and Melo himself. This gives the Thunder a very cool and good starting five with tons of switching fluidity on defense; much more importantly: LOL....
Sixers Corner The Market For NBA Okafors
The Philadelphia 76ers have issued a training-camp invite to veteran center Emeka Okafor. In Philly he will join his distant cousin and fellow center, Jahlil Okafor, to assemble the tallest, greatest, and only pair of oft-injured basketball centers named “Okafor” in the history of the world....
There Are Too Many Shows
There are too many shows on TV. Too many shows! Who can watch all of these shows? I can’t watch all of these shows....