albertburneko Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch Steve Ballmer Flip The Fuck Out To The Music Of Fergie
Fergie performed between quarters of the Clippers-Lakers game at Staples Center tonight. Clips owner Steve Ballmer, uh ... enjoyed it? I think that's what he's doing, here? Enjoying? That or just straight-up raging out. I can't really tell....
Bad Knicks Goober Flings Hook Shot To Nowhere
That's Cole Aldrich, starting center for the New York Knicks, draining a sweet turnaround hook shot on the invisible ghost-hoop six feet to the right of the regular one. Good move....
It's About Ethics In Restaurant-List Journalism, Mewls Slighted Chef
Breaking: Entitled white dude slings around bogus journalism-ethics complaints in reactionary response to insecurity over his former spot atop a hierarchy! Call it DinerGate....
How Many Days Are In A Week? Internet Steakheads Go To War
The brain is not a muscle. For proof of that, we turn to the commenting forums of Bodybuilding.com....
How To Roast Butternut Squash, Which Is Phallic And Fantastic
There's the versatility of, say, a boneless, skinless chicken breast—it tastes bland and uninteresting pretty much no matter what you do with it, so it "goes" with everything, like gustatory khaki—and then there's the versatility of the butternut squash, which is so outrageously goddamn good that yo...
We're The Staff Of Deadspin. Let's Chat.
It's Friday and we're not much in the mood for working. We're hanging out down below in the discussion section; let's talk about whatever....
Bed-And-Breakfasts Are Stupid
Many people get a certain twinkle in their eyes at the mere mention of bed-and-breakfasts. Ooh, let's take a road trip through New England and stay at bed-and-breakfasts! It'll be so cozy and romantic! This is a baffling and inexplicable notion. Bed-and-breakfasts are miserable and stupid....
The Cavaliers Are Stinking Out The Joint
The Cavs got their asses kicked inside-out by the terrible, terrible Pistons last night, 103-80, in Cleveland. They're 18-12 on the season, 5-5 in their last 10 games, fifth in the woeful Eastern Conference. They stink....
How To Cook Lobster Tails, If You Don't Have A Butler To Do It For You
This column was originally published on January 26th, 2013....
Anthony Davis Volleyball Spikes Manu Ginobili's Shot Straight To Hell
If you put your ear close to your laptop speaker and turn the sound up high enough, you can actually hear the ball itself screaming in terror, just before Anthony Davis pounds it into the parquet at the speed of light. Great googly moogly. It actually traveled back in time on its way down. Manu's ...
Man, Did Anthony Davis Whomp The Shit Out Of The Thunder Or What
There's no one particularly SportsCenter-y highlight from Anthony Davis's 38-point, 12-rebound, three-block eruption against Oklahoma City last night. He didn't block all three shots in one leap; or tear the entire backboard off the stanchion with a dunk; or, like, spike a dead-on-arrival Kendrick ...
How To Make Eggnog, The Festive Holiday Booze-Shake
In the abstract, the notion that some people don't want to drink eggnog makes sense: diabetics, say, or the lactose-intolerant or egg-allergic, or those principled self-denying oddballs who prefer not to replace their entire body mass gradually with dietary fat and cholesterol until they resemble ...
Christmas Songs, Ranked
Hark! The herald bloggers rank the Christmas jams. O come, let us rejoice them....
Dumb-As-Hell Hip-Hop-Themed Restaurant Menu Wasn't The Hottest Idea
"Thug rice," man. "Thug rice." They literally dyed some rice black and called it "thug rice."...
Hey, Let That Fake Investor Teen Live
Let’s begin by stipulating that Mohammed Islam, the Queens teen who lied about making dozens of millions of dollars via after-school financial investments, probably is a dingus. He is a teen boy. It’s a safe assumption. He is also, in his way, a hero....
Holiday Gift Guide: For Your Buddy Who Wants To Cook Like A Grownup
So your buddy or sibling or heretofore derelict life-partner has decided that now is the time to set aside a life of carryout and peanut butter sandwiches and become A Person Capable Of Cooking Meals At Home Like A Grownup. Good! Cooking at home is good....
Harvard Professor Wets His Dypie Over A $4 Overcharge On Chinese Food
A Harvard Business School associate professor ordered some food from a family-run Brookline, Mass., Chinese joint a few days ago; after reviewing his receipt, he noticed he'd been charged $4 more than the price he expected, based on the restaurant's online menu. And then, in a series of aggrieved e...
Fuck The British Royal Family
His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like ...
How To Sear Some White Fish, Now That You "Care" About Your "Health"
A recurring rite of adulthood, for the harried and haggard and sad, is feeling ugh so terrible all the time, I'm like a sweaty, gross walrus, it hurts when I do things and my chest makes sounds like a dehumidifier, bluhhhhhh, and making a half-assed resolution to start doin' the right things, damm...
John Wall Destroyed The Lakers Last Night
Kobe Bryant and Nick Young hit a bunch of fluky long jumpers in a row during the second quarter of the Lakers' game in DC last night; with around six minutes left in the half they led by 11 points, and if you saw the score (47-36) crawl across the bottom of your screen just then, you might've though...