albertburneko Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar
It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling d...
Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?
Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ ...
Chugging Is Dumb
We need to talk about your drinking. To have an intervention, of sorts....
Damn, Millennials, Pizza Hut Thinks You're Super Boring
Much of the content of this Washington Post report on the diverging fortunes of delivery pizza giants Domino's and Pizza Hut—the former is thriving, the latter not s'much—passes harmlessly overhead, as remote and incomprehensible as solar wind washing harmlessly over the Earth's magnetic field. Dom...
NPR: Ebola Might Make Chocolate Expensive (While Killing Lots Of People)
Yeesh. Lotta scary Ebola news these days. Between the situation in Africa seemingly spiraling beyond anyone's control, a botched containment job at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital, and exposed people breaking quarantine to go strolling around New Jersey, presumably barfing Ebola blood on school...
How To Braise A Big Chuck Roast, And Stave Off Scurvy, For Now
Living the life of a regular person—teetering indefinitely on the edge of total destitution, that is to say—you get familiar with the tension between the limits of your financial wherewithal and the ugh like totally selfish desire to not just eat pasta and plain rice and cereal all the time and get...
Burger King Sued Over Fed-Up Stabbin'-Ass Manager
Cold onion rings. A peeved customer. A murderous knife-wielding manager. I swear, if you've been to one Burger King, you've been to 'em all. Except you probably haven't been to any of them, since nobody goes to Burger King. Nobody, that is, but Robert Deyapp, who got beat up by a store empl...
We Have A Halloween Cereal Problem
It's Halloween season, now, and if you've taken your keen consumer eye into certain participating supermarket chains, you may have noticed the (for a limited time only!) return of the familiar monster-themed General Mills cereals of yore: Count Chocula, Franken-Berry, and Boo-Berry....
![Redditor Asks How Much Pumpkin To Put In His Cincinnati Chi--[Gunshot]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dka0ezc5hswz0gwx5bjw.png)
Redditor Asks How Much Pumpkin To Put In His Cincinnati Chi--[Gunshot]
Behold, the worst of all the things: a Redditor putting pumpkin in his diarrhea sludge! ...
Nancy Grace Is Still The Best At Twitter
Our pals over at automated-subdomain-generator-bot Gawker celebrated the incomparable Twitter brilliance of CNN's Nancy Grace awhile back, but last night's amazing #PervHouse tweet is as good a time as any to remind you: Nancy Grace is still out here in these streets (like #PervHouse guy!), twee...
You Like Bacon Because <em>They</em> Told You To
You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make l...
How To Make Roast Pork Tenderloin, The X-Rated Cut Of Meat
There's simply no way around it: The pork tenderloin is weird-lookin'. It's shaped—well, dammit, it's shaped like a big ol' penis. You unwrap it from the butcher paper and you step back and you go, damn, man, this pork tenderloin looks like a dong. Can I manipulate this giant dong? This seems ...
Whoa, Man, This Pork Tenderloin <em>Really</em> Looks Like A Dong
I mean, I'm basically taking tipster Robert's word for it that that really is a tenderloin and not some kind of super fucked-up sex practice. That is one dong-lookin'-ass tenderloin! ...
Who Drinks The Most Beer And Wine In The World?
The smart folks over at CompareCamp made a fun (and super-huge!) infographic of beer and wine knowledge. Among the interesting facts: Europeans are some damn boozehounds! They're drinking circles around us, America. Of special note is the Vatican, which trounces the world in per capita wine consu...
Wendy's Pulled Pork Cheese Fries Are The Saddest Meal
This is not really a review of the Wendy's Pulled Pork Cheese Fries; in order for it to function as a review, I would have to go to a Wendy's location and say, aloud, to a Wendy's employee, "I will have the Pulled Pork Cheese Fries," and I can't even rehearse that without my hands literally punching...
Jamie Oliver: Comfort Food Is OK, Now That He Wrote A Book About It
TV host, cookbook author, and brilliant world-renowned chef Jamie Oliver went on The Colbert Report yesterday to sell some copies of his new book, Comfort Food, a guide to preparing the sorts of foods that professional nutrition-scold Jamie Oliver will crash through your kitchen wall to jump-kick...
The Wizards Lead The NBA In <em>Street Fighter</em> Hairdos
You'll recall last week, when Washington Wizards center Marcin Gortat unveiled his hard-ass new mohawk 'do and transformed instantaneously from an affable Euro dude into a terrifying Death-Slav from hell. Well, it appears that Street Fighter-based coiffures are becoming A Thing on the Wizards: Ch...
TGI Fridays Is Breaking Up With Its Own Restaurants
Time was, the name "TGI Fridays" used to goddamn mean something. Kitsch-bedecked walls. Dim lighting. Aerosmith music. Reheated trashfood slathered in bourbon-flavored pancake syrup. The nagging sense that this interstate off-ramp gas-'n'-grub strip was the neon lure dangling before the yawni...