barryap Page 585 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Worst Column Ever By Someone Not Named Bill Plaschke
A Syracuse columnist made a factual error. His next column consists solely of a correction repeated 50 times, à la classroom chalkboard. Meh, still better than Bleacher Report....

Jags Receiver Gets Caught In Action Movie After Armed Intruder Busts In
Kassim Osgood and a ladyfriend were hanging out, when her ex-boyfriend showed up with a gun. Both were pistol-whipped, but are okay. Then, there's this: "The woman targeted him with her laser sight before both shot at each other and missed." [Times-Union]...

When The Premier Leaguer Met The Hot Transsexual, "Some Oral Stuff" Happened
It's the age-old story. A married soccer player meets a cute girl on Facebook. They flirt for a while before finally hooking up in a club's bathroom. The girl turns out not to be a girl....

US Open Brawler Arrested After Tabloid Trash Talk
Joseph Pedevill, best known for beating up old people, was called "an insane nut" by his neighbor in a New York Post story. Pedevill reacted to that by behaving like an insane nut....

Kris "Vertseeg" Gets His Stanley Cup Due
Happens every year. They misspell someone's name on the Stanley Cup, and because of the sacredness of the Cup, he's forced to legally change his name. Sucks, Versteeg. [Sun-Times]...

Last Night's Winner: Quarterback In A Bra!
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like CFL QB Henry Burris, photographed wearing a bra, with a woman who's not his wife. Oh, and the pictures fell into the hands of the fanbase he spurned....

Rays Attendance To Mysteriously Spike Tomorrow
The Rays will give out 20,000 free tickets to Wednesday's game. Tampa Bay Fans should really stay home and watch the Ken Burns doc, so they learn that baseball existed before October 2008....

Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....

Hockey Agent Gets 10 Percent Of His Client's Goalie Mask
Maple Leafs prospect Jussi Rynnäs's mask features, among other oddities, a photo of his agent. He would have named his kid after him, but Rynnäs's firstborn was sacrificed to his death metal band of choice, as per Finnish law. [Globe and Mail]...

SportsCenter First Is A Milestone For Attractive, Well-Dressed Female Journalists
At noon today, two female SportsCenter anchors handed the baton off to two other women, a first in the show's long history. Truly this is a monumental day in the long struggle for women's rights....

Double Buckner: What Does It Mean?
Here's Gaby Sanchez, and then Dan Uggla exposing their five-holes on the same play. "Good times out there tonight," Uggla joked. Maybe baseball doesn't belong in Florida....

Jim Furyk Won $11 Million With A $39 Used Putter
Furyk liked the pro shop purchase because it had "a nick on the topline that helped him line up the ball." Apparently Furyk likes his putters the way Tiger Woods likes his women: (finish this line in the comments). [Enterprise]...

Last Night's Winner: All The Tired Clichés About Baseball In Florida
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Rays fans, who get to read this morning about how they're pathetic, just because they didn't show up to a meaningless, late-September, Monday night game against a last-place team....

Area Man Shows Disdain For Team By Purchasing Team Merchandise
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Oklahoma State Takes A Page From Pee Wee Football
The Cowboys' new focus on defense includes rewarding players for turnovers with Snickers and Butterfinger bars, probably from a fun-size bag bought for $2.99 at a Stillwater Otasco. [AP]...

Mark Cuban, Lunch Date
Bid now, and win lunch for two with Mark Cuban! He will sign one item. You will have to fight your friend to the death for possession of the item....

Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...

Dear College Baseball Players: Stop Using The Internet To Ask For Advice On Taking Steroids
Last week's Villanova player asking for tips on juicing was just the beginning. Apparently there's an epidemic of our nation's stupid, stupid college athletes turning to message boards for the best PED regimen. Today: anonymous college pitcher with a pitiful fastball....

100-Foot Super Mario Game Plays Out In MLS Stands
Supporters of the Chicago Fire put together this impressive tifo (basically the soccer equivalent of those North Korean card stunts) over the weekend featuring Mario, a Koopa Troopa, and one on-target fireball....

Shaun Smith Can't Stop Grabbing Guys' Packages
A week after the Chiefs DE was accused of, erm, manhandling Cleveland's (The Secret World Of) Alex Mack, San Fran's Anthony Davis comes forward to show on the doll where Smith touched him. "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?" Right....