barryap Page 602 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sexxxy Pitino Extortion Trial Kicks Off With Blowjobs For Everyone
We're barely done with opening arguments, and Karen Sypher's already accused of two blowjobs-for-favors, a one-night-stand, a marriage, an abortion, and, oh yeah, extortion. We're not sure our delicate sensibilities can handle the afternoon session. [Kentucky Sports Radio]...
Chris Paul Is No Less Of A Cocksucker Than LeBron James
Despite their "productive" meeting today, Chris Paul still wants out of New Orleans. The breakup-in-progress has been very public, and very heartbreaking for Hornets fans. So why do we give Paul a pass while we continue to pile on LeBron?...
Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....
Texas To Sponsor The Very Power Of The Earth Itself
Fresh off approving water bottles shaped like the campus tower (you know, the one from which Charles Whitman killed 14 people), UT is partnering with an energy company to sponsor Longhorn Electricity and Longhorn Natural Gas. [SBJ]...
Madden Soundtrack Revealed, No More Shitty Pop-Punk
Through torturing America with the likes of Yellowcard and Good Charlotte, Madden 11 will go with the old stadium standbys: Crazy Train, Song 2, Rock and Roll Part 2, and the like. So, overplayed, but the classic kind of overplayed. [EA]...
Monday Morning Psychologist, With Dez Bryant And Roy Williams
Actual headline from actual newspaper: "Dez Bryant Refuses To Carry Roy Williams' Shoulder Pads." So while this may not be a big story, the media's damn sure they're going to make it one. So let's analyze!...
It's Okay To Make Fun Of Lance Armstrong Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Everyone And Their Mother Think This Title Fight Was Fixed
A glancing blow to the head — if that — and Danny Green retained his IBO cruiserweight belt against Paul Briggs. Briggs denies he took a dive; betting houses and Australian boxing's governing body aren't convinced. [AAP]...
A Guided Tour Of Darren McFadden's Hotel Room, As Hosted By His Road Beef
Athletes! Listen up! If you must bring a groupie back to your hotel room, don't leave her in there alone. She will take photos of everything and share them with the world....
Floyd Mayweather Takes In A Cockfight
These are purported videos of Floyd Mayweather at a rooster fight in San Juan, PR., instead of doing what we all wish he were doing: training for a fight with Manny Pacquiao. But this looks fun too, I guess....
France Comes Up With Highly Symbolic, Largely Ineffective Punishment For World Cup Players
New France coach Laurent Blanc will drop all 23 World Cup players from the team (if only for one game), as punishment for their mini-strike. It should be interesting, as France's U21 side probably could have beaten that World Cup squad. [AP]...
Sportswriter Publicly Quits, Salts The Earth In His Wake
The Miami Herald's FIU beat writer figured out that his paper and his city (to say nothing of the world) care a hell of a lot more about The U than they do FIU. His scathing letter of resignation pulled no punches....
Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....
Mutton-Almost-Bustin' At The Tour De France
Alberto Contador came 108 miles closer to winning his third Tour, no thanks to a bunch of of sheep who came out of fucking nowhere to dart across the road in front of the peloton....
Minor League Baseball Will Be HGH Testing's Beachhead
We never thought we'd see the day, but an American professional sport has taken steps to detect, punish and deter HGH usage. Effective immediately, Minor League Baseball will test for it. This is big for our friends in the NFL, as well....
Manitoba Man Charged For Calling Police To Get Winnipeg Jets Back
The man "had apparently been drinking" when he made a series of 911 calls, demanding that the RCMP find a way to get the NHL back to Winnipeg. Gary Bettman is just behind Snidely Whiplash on their most-wanted list. [Winnipeg Free Press]...
Manchester United Jerseys Banned For Promoting Satanism
Forbes may have named Man U the most valuable franchise in sports, but they'll be getting a few less Malaysian ringgit. Muslim clerics have banned Man U jerseys in Malaysia because of their Red Devil crest....
How About A Little Coach-On-Reporter Violence?
National legend and current Brazil club coach Emerson Leao got into it with a radio reporter after a draw(not even a loss!) last night. Three of his players then got into it, punching the reporter twice. A police investigation is ongoing....
A Fantasy Football Screwjob We Can All Enjoy
The heartwarming tale of a non-fan invited to a draft and given a player list from 2005. He ended up with Priest Holmes, Marvin Harrison, Torry Holt and Steve McNair. But not Brett Favre, because he was retired. [Couch Groove Football]...
Joakim Noah Spotted In His Natural Habitat: Shopping For Bongs (MORE PHOTOS)
No LeBron and Bosh? No problem. Joakim Noah will just console himself with a night on the couch eating Funyuns and watching QVC. And the water pipe? Well that's for tobacco use only, as the law clearly indicates....