barryap Page 672 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Florida State Produces Student-Athletes, Not In That Order
In an NCAA transcript on FSU's violations, it emerged that some Noles read at a second grade level. Warning flags were raised when Leon Washington told the Jets at the combine his favorite book was "Go, Dog, Go." [Yahoo!]...

Streaking Is All Fun And Games Until Someone Commits A Felony
Didn't Janet Jackson teach our nation's children that nudity at football games is anything but harmless? Now one high school student is facing criminal sexual conduct charges after his streaking across the field caused a near-riot....

ESPN's HS Football Contract Is Underwhelming
So, just how much does ESPN pay school districts to televise their prep football games? A cool $1000. It's all about the Clevelands. [AJC]...

Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
If beer commercials and 80s movies are to be believed, everything's bigger in Australia. Except the jockeys; they're little people. And the horses; they're regular size people....

I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'
That prosecuting attorney who decided to charge Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings with only a single misdemeanor charge, instead of the police's harsher recommendations? He's a proud graduate of Louisville Law School. [Rush The Court]...

Coach Can't Keep Hands Off The Merchandise
Go ahead and play with yourself. It's perfectly natural and I won't judge you. Even if you're a high school basketball coach, it's still a personal matter. But do it in the middle of Costco, and that'll get you headlines....

Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Man Died 27 Points Too Early
An 89-year-old Lincoln man emerged from a coma to fulfill his last wish - to watch Nebraska play Missouri before dying. The worst part - he lost consciousness before NU's fourth quarter comeback. [World Herald]...

How Twitter Ends Our Hero Worship
We get a lot of press releases that don't apply to us/are completely self-serving, but one today caught my eye. Not because of the subject matter, but because of what it says about how we regard our athletes in 2009....

As If Skirt Chasing Wasn't Competitive Enough Already
A "5k race series bringing fitness, beer and flirting together," in which the women get a 3-minute head start and the men take off in pursuit, is called — yes, the SkirtChaser5K. Paging Jezebel. [RandBall]...

These Athletes Are Going To Hell
A fundamentalist Baptist church is making headlines for their upcoming book/album burning, but their website reveals a hidden treasure: the Index Of Ungodly Athletes....

Davies Update: South Africa Looking Unlikely
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered
A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border....

Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...

Jackie Robinson A Republican Hero, Say Republicans
One of the most asked questions we here at Deadspin get is "If Jackie Robinson were alive today, how would he vote?" Well, someone's offered an answer....

A Manly Manly Way For The Titans To Bust Their Slump
According to a not nearly tongue-in-cheek enough column in The Tennessean, the only thing that can turn around the winless Titans is a Cuddle Party in their pajamas. I'd be shocked if this wasn't ghostwritten by Vince Young. [Tennessean]...

News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon (UPDATE)
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls start powder puff football brawls that spill over into the crowd....

USA Wins FIFA!
Well, not really. But after a nailbiting 3-2 victory at Honduras, they are the first CONCACAF side to qualify for next summer's World Cup. Suck on that, Netherlands Antilles. [USSoccer.com]...

Cole Hamels Will Warp Your Mind
Take a good, long look at this "photo" atop Cole Hamels's official web site. Notice anything?...