barryap Page 676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....
You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...
Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....
It's Like The "Where's Waldo" Of Obscene Signs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Deadspin Red Alert!
Yup, it's a concussion, but don't worry!...
Never One To Seek The Spotlight, Danica Turns Down NASCAR
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Sports Numerology Will Drive You To Madness
Tired of scanning the sports pages, insider blogs and talk radio to gain an edge on Vegas on Sundays? Turn to the one science that's empirically proven (at least according to its biggest proponent) to pick winners: numerology....
Evander Holyfield, Bringer Of Light
Holyfield wants to convert his mansion to a solar energy farm, and sell the power. I'm sure this has nothing to do with his financial troubles, and everything to do with genuine care for the environment. [AJC]...
Has Mark Whicker Taught Us Nothing?
"The nightmare of 9/11 will live forever in our minds and memories."...Yes, this is how a high school football game story begins....
Where'd Our Boobs Go, FOXSports?
It's Thursday, which means the latest edition of their "fleshy" "comedy" series. I'm sure you knew that. Doesn't look like any bare breasts made it on this week, but I'm not watching all 16 goddamn minutes to make sure. [FOXSports.com]...
Lidge Meltdown Brings On Fan Meltdown
Though this video contains a dejected Phillies fan, it could be any one of us. In just three minutes, he articulates, very inarticulately, the pain we've all felt. I present to you the Überfansch, whose transcendence will justify our existence....
If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Nails Is No Match For The Japanese Carl Monday
Yep, that's Lenny Dykstra, caught on Japanese television in a Los Angeles pawn shop. Deadspin translation services are on the case, after the jump....
Finally, Objective Proof That Referees Favor Manchester United
Imagine if every time the Yankees lost, the umps decided to play a 10th inning. That's what's happening in England, with (obviously) Man U being the beneficiary of some super-shady timekeeping....
$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...
Steve McNair Murder Scene An Ill-Advised Halloween Display
Halloween! Time to scare the kiddies with graphic depictions of recently murdered NFL quarterbacks! That's what one amusement park figures, at least before the inevitable boycott. Let's work up our righteous indignation....
You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....
Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
We're Running Out Of American History
A painting of Tommy Lasorda now hangs at the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Expect Vlad Guerrero shortly to lay out the painting with a broken bat. [LA Times]...
Drug Bust Interrupted By Presence Of Wii
"Okay, remember the plan. Make sure no suspects are hiding in the house. Search the entire premises for drugs and weapons. And don't forget to...holy shit, is that Wii Bowling?"...