barryap Page 685 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...

Steve Bartman Not Allowed To Die Quietly
ESPN is producing a documentary on Steve Bartman, finally giving the world the narrative no one asked for. It's sure to rip out the hearts of Cubbies fans, the players don't want it, and I'm guessing Bartman's not thrilled either....

Lingerie Football League More Like The NFL Than Expected
Go ahead, just try to tell me you aren't crossing off the days on your calendar until next month's debut of the Lingerie Football League. And while the action may not be top-shelf, they're keeping stats like the big boys....

Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...

Why Today's Red Sox Steroids Story Is More, And Less, Important Than It Seems
Steroids? In Boston's clubhouse? Big news a week ago. Now it's something of an afterthought that a pair of team staffers were let go for steroid use. But this story's going to be huge, and I'll tell you why....

They Know Where Their Bread Is Buttered: Her Ovaries
The WNBA actually backloaded L.A.'s schedule to accommodate Candace Parker's maternity leave; the Sparks have played 5 fewer games than any other team. I only noticed this while playing Streak For The Cash, I swear....

Michael Vick Suggests 'Michael Vick Day,' Gets His Wish
Organizers are planning a family-oriented "celebration" of Michael Vick in his hometown. What could possibly go wrong?...

You Mean Twitter <em>Isn't</em> Always The Best Place To Get Your News?
Confusion in Minnesota after Bernard Berrian tweets that Tarvaris Jackson is out for the year. He was just joking, though, to prove some kind of point. There would have been panic, had it not been about Tarvaris Jackson. [PFT]...

Hunting The Most Dangerous Game Of All: Love
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Odd Foreigner Chooses Fruity Little Tattoo Over Reebok Deal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Someone Forgot To Tell This Owner His Soccer Team Was Up For Sale On eBay
When the owner of an English soccer team wanted to sell the franchise, he turned to a US firm to set up the deal. When that firm wanted to locate a buyer, they turned to...eBay? *recordscratch.wav*...

Golf Course Hunting Gives New Meaning To Notching A Birdie
A golf course in northern Indiana has a geese problem. Specifically, there's too many of them, honking and crapping everywhere. The city council's solution? Golfers with guns....

World War III Will Be Fought With Dishes And Swishes
President Obama showed the Chinese Vice Premier proper jump shot form, and also quoted Yao Ming. I suppose reducing a nation of one billion to a stereotype isn't so offensive if that stereotype is "they all love basketball." [CBS News]...

PapiGate, Straight From The Hub's Mouth
In the wake of today's David Ortiz revelations, Deadspin takes an schadenfreudian informative look at the reaction from the comment boards of Boston's newspapers. Let's witness the five stages of grief in one afternoon, plus plenty of trolling....

Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...

Of All The Horrible Moves The NHL Has Made, This Is...Maybe Not Even Top 10
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NHL Exec Shoots And Misses With Fox News Ice Queen
When a Florida Panthers executive went on Fox News to talk about unemployment, he did what we'd all like to do, if we had no sense of decorum or shame: he macked on their anchor like nobody's business....

In Which MMA Fans Don't Get Their Money's Worth
From something called PureCombat comes the first 3-second knockout I've ever seen. That's Steve "Dangerous" Ramirez taking out Darvin Wattree, shot on video that looks like Nicolas Cage might have been hired to find out where it came from....

Jamal Anderson Does Not Really Want To Be A Porn Star Named Axel Steelcock
Jamal Anderson doesn't need this agita. A cocaine possession charge in February, and now somebody's hacking into the former Falcon's Facebook account? Well, at least that's what he'd like you to believe....

Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....