basketbawful-old Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Playoff Hunt Continu ... Mmm, Nuggets Dancers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes he could rest his starters for the rest of the regular season. When he's not trying to find some starters to rest, you can find him playing with creepy bobbleheads at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Peja Stojakovic is totally clutchtastic. His former Sacram...
It's April Fools In The NBA, Starring The Western Conference Playoff Race
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who just crumpled up his "Western Conference Playoff Position" spreadsheet and ate it. When he's not trying to make heads or tails of this crazy playoff race, you can find him running suicides at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
The NBA Playoff Hunt Continues, Predator Style
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks you should go rent The Predator again. Immediately. Oh, and he also thinks you should read his stuff at Basketbawful. Enjoy! So you cooked up a story and dropped the six of us in the meat grindah! Michael Finley's shooting slump hit a low point l...
Where...Crossdressing Mascots Happen?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is seriously glad it's Friday. When he's not checking out NBA mascots - but only for laughs, not in "that way" - you can find him taking a siesta at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Mmmm, beefy. On a night in which the Denver Nuggets thrashed the Dallas Mavericks 1...
David West Is An Assassin
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who gets some serious NBA overload on Wednesday nights. When he's trying to get the pick and roll out of his head, he can be found cracking corn at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Chris Paul made nicknaming history last night. Last night, Paul had the following to say...
The NBA Closer: Threat Or Menace?
The NBA Closer is written by J. Jonah Jameson, publisher and editor-in-chief of The Daily Bugle, New York's favorite newspaper since 1932. When he's not trying to rid the world of a certain wall-crawling menace, he can be found preparing his Pulitzer Prize speech at Basketbawful. Enjoy! San Antonio...
Kobe Cries Tears Of Blood, Lakers Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who believes that only you can prevent forest fires. So the next time there's a forest fire, it's totally your fault. When he's not blaming you for nature's fiery blazes, he can be found fanning the flames of Basketbawful. Enjoy! And the Warriors went down ...
Dirk Has Fallen And He Can't Get Up (For At Least Two Weeks)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who loves March Madness as much as the next guy but is really tired of hearing the phrase "You can tell they don't want to go home!" I mean, seriously, do the announcers need to tell us that over and over? Are there teams of players that DO want to go home? ...
Celtics Munch On A Little Texas Toast
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who knows he can't compete with March Madness but is going to try anyway. When he's not begging and pleading for you to read this column, he can be found celebrating his alma mater (HAIL PURDUE!) at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Ray Allen stuck a dagger deep in the ...
Heat Forget How To Score, And The Answer Was In Philly
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's really looking forward to Easter, the day on which Larry Bird returns from the dead to lay multi-colored eggs under a Christmas tree. When he's not wondering whether Larry knows whether he's been naughty or nice, he can be found weaving his Easter bask...
Remember What Ol' Jack Burton Says...About The NBA
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's not saying that he's been everywhere and done everything, but does know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're all alone in THIS universe. And he's trying to prove that at Basketbawful. Enjo...
A Very NBA St. Patrick's Day
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a bit 'o the Irish in him. Although a few testy Irishmen told him this weekend that the name "McHale" is actually Scottish. But hey, everybody's Irish on St. Patty's day, right? When he isn't walking the streets of Chicago in his brand new green tuxe...
The Rockets Truly Are Too Legit To Quit
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's about this close to ordering a Dikembe Mutombo jersey. When he isn't marvelling at the continued mobility of the venerable (i.e., ancient) center, he can be found whistling Dixie at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're on a mission from God. That's about the ...
Swag Update: It's At An All Time High
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, a master of the ancient art of ninja. When he isn't stalking his enemies in the dead of night, he can't be found practicing the art of stealth at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He's baaaa-aaaack. Remember that Caron Butler guy? He returned to the Washington lineup af...
If You Can't Sell It, Sloganize It!
This is a special NBA Closer extra from Basketbawful...
Winning Ugly. So Very, Very Ugly
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who scraped out his eyes with a spoon after watching the Rockets' 20th consecutive win. Fortunately, the government immediately replaced them with bionic implants, but now they expect him to fight crime. So when he isn't using his now-better than 20/20 visio...
Scalper's Night Off In The NBA
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who knows that dunking cheerleaders can help make the pain go away. When he isn't enjoying the fine art of the dance, he can be found doing the Funky Cold Medina at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Run! It's Shaq!! On Sunday, The Big Cactus flattened three full rows ...
The NBA Closer...of Doom!
The NBA Closer is written by Doctor Victor Von Doom, the monarch of Latveria and sworn enemy of the Fantastic Four. When he isn't filling his armor with unstoppable devices of mayhem and receiving physical gratification from his endless army of robot duplicates, Doom can be found plotting his conque...
Huge Sigh Of Relief Out Of Phoenix Alters National Weather Patterns
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is holed up in a basement next to a big stack of canned goods and bottled water right now. When he isn't preparing for the end of all life as we know it, he can be found tweezing his eyebrows at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Los Spurs and Rockets Win, While The LeBron Jameses Lose
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who wishes you all a happy freaking Friday. When he's not celebrating the weekend, he can be found playing Texas Hold 'Em at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • We now have an answer to one of life's great mysteries. The Yao Ming-less Rockets are indeed better than the ...