ben-cohen-old Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....

Many Trees Died In The Making Of Simmons' Next Tome
Have you ever thought, Man, I really want to read a 720-page hardcover about basketball by the Sports Fella? Then today — or October 27, 2009 — is your lucky day. [Leitch]...

Another Kind Of Softball Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Carmelo Isn't Interested In Your High-Fives
Call this a hunch, but it seems Carmelo Anthony wasn't too happy after the Lakers' 103-97 win over the Nuggets in Game 3 last night in Denver. Something about losing the fourth quarter by 14 points and fouling out on (another!) lazy inbounds pass....

There's No Crying With Amazing Happening
A Denver hooligan went out on a two-block strip to deface some innocent stop signs after the Nuggets lost Game 1 to the Lakers last Tuesday. It is not known whether this hooligan acted alone or whether he was part of a larger hooligan conspiracy. He is still at large....

You Say Horto Magico, Nick Calathes Says Show Me The Money
Sources say Florida point guard Nick Calathes will sign a $1.1 million deal — including a home, car and tax credits — with Panathinaikos in Greece, where Calathes holds dual citizenship. Panathinaikos, you say? Yep, that one. How could you forget? [Orlando Sentinel]...

...And Your NBA Open Thread
Andrew Bynum isn't happy with his playing time, but he's only going to talk with Phil Jackson about his "feelings" if he's approached. Let's give Bynum a break — he's still young, right? Lakers, Nuggets, 8:30 p.m. in Denver. [LA Times]...

OK, Here's Your NHL Open Thread...
Apparently, the RBC Center might be the loudest hockey arena in the country (err, North America). We'll see if it affects Sid the Kid and the Penguins tonight at 7:30 p.m. in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals. Now go talk about it. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...

A Carnivore's Guide To Yankee Stadium
The new Yankee Stadium may be a colossal disaster — Peter Gammons is the ballpark's latest critic — but the food is positively delectable. How one fan copped a $325 Legends Suite ticket and swindled the Yankees of $127 in concessions. The Yankees were just happy someone was there. [Time]...

Wanted: Poise, Splits, Knowledge Of Middle East Geography
To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, you need exquisite dance technique, plenty of enthusiasm and poise, a vibrant personality and the ability to do high kicks and splits. Also, you should "look well-proportioned in dancewear." And you have to identify a country on Iraq's borders....

Yep, That SUV Inching Down Your Street Is A Zamboni
Auto companies are failing, but don't you worry: The primary Zamboni manufacturer won't be filing for a government bailout anytime soon. Also, The Zambonis, North America's favorite all-hockey band, are coming to a town near you. Zamboni. That's a funny word. [NYT]...

You Want To See Explosive, NBA Fans?
Ah, European hooligans — always good for a riot in Game 1 of the finals. But none of this is too surprising, considering Panathinaikos' fight song, Horto Magico, is a stoner jam, except more hardcore:...

Judge: No, You Can't Replace Volleyball With Cheerleaders
A federal judge has decreed that Quinnipiac can't just ax its women's volleyball team to trim the budget — especially when, you know, it wouldn't actually save money if the team is replaced by a new varsity cheerleading squad. Something about Title IX. Proceed with your day. [News-Times]...

Now Now, Eck, You Can't Be Doing That
Please forgive Dennis Eckersley. He’s still getting used to this whole broadcasting thing — you know, having millions of people (or at least Red Sox fans) hear what you say as you go. He seems to have forgotten where he is: There’s no cursing on NESN!...

Where Does PETA Get Off Humiliating Michael Vick?
DeAngelo Hall on Vick: "I mean, he's definitely been humiliated. I think he should have [gotten] suspended, then he should have had to pay a big fine. That's what PETA wants anyway, is money, so he should have had to pay them money." [D.C. Sports Bog]...

"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

NYC Pitcher Throws No-No After Dad Dies Of Swine Flu
Throwing a no-hitter or four in high school baseball? Passe. Doing it the day after burying your father, New York City's first victim of swine flu? Now we're talking....