billyhaisley Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
EPL Manager, Fed Up With This Shit, Leaves Good Team For Bad One
In what has been a whirlwind turn of events over the past day, Alan Pardew has left Newcastle after four years in favor of taking up the Crystal Palace job. It is a surprising decision to say the least....
Angry Soccer Guy Gets All In Another Soccer Guy's Face, Gets Kissed
It's always funny when athletes go head-to-head in anger, shouting at each other with their lips mere inches apart. You always watch to see if their mouths touch. Well, one soccer dude removed all the ambiguity from this tête-à-tête when he blatantly smooched his opponent right on the mouth. How cut...
West Brom And Manchester City Played In A Real-Life Snow Globe Today
It might've been a day too late for West Bromwich citizens dreaming of a white Christmas, but at least the they got to enjoy an unending stream of flakes during today's Boxing Day match against Manchester City....
Fernando Torres Set To Rejoin Boyhood Club Atlético Madrid
Just when it was looking like no one wanted to host the once great Fernando Torres's final years in the sport, the club that gave him his start, Atlético Madrid, has come in to rescue him. As the headline from Madrid sports daily AS reads, El Niño—the kid—returns as a man....
How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?
The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busque...
MLS Farm Team Coach Charged With Murder Of Off-Duty Cop In England
Christopher Spendlove, an assistant coach for USL Pro's Oklahoma City Energy FC, and a friend of his have been charged with killing an off-duty police officer in their native England. The two former American collegiate athletes are also charged with inflicting grievous bodily harm on two other offic...
Who Cares If Jérémy Ménez Was Just Fucking Around, This Goal Is Dope
"Well actually," pedantic soccer fan (but I repeat myself) begins, "Ménez had been offside for a while, so the 'goal' was"—yeah, shut the fuck up. Just look at the spin on that thing:...
Pats Fan At Jets Game Gets Nachos Dumped All Over Him In Fight
We aren't sure the context here, but it appears our brave Patriots fan—not only did he venture out to Jets country, he did so while sporting his customized team hoodie, which reads "God Maserati"—was being escorted out of the stadium by security when some Jets fans began to taunt him. Mr. Maserati...
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....
Viggo Mortensen Calls Cristiano Ronaldo A Pretty Boy Choke Artist
Viggo Mortensen—the NYC-born, Buenos Aires-raised Danish-American actor most famous for playing Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies—is a humongous fan of Argentine club San Lorenzo. His team has reached the final of the FIFA Club World Cup, where they face Real Madrid. As well as acting, Mortens...
Both Of Lionel Messi's Feet Must Be Made Of Glue
Let's ignore the video of Lionel Messi's second goal today for a minute, and just stare at the picture above. That's the world's best left foot plucking a screaming ball out of the air as casually as a frog would an unexpecting fly, or Odell Beckham would a lobbed duck of a pass in pregame warm-up...
I Think Érik Lamela's Got His Swagger Back
Érik Lamela was supposed to be the crown jewel in Tottenham's post-Gareth Bale transfer haul. After a pretty much nonexistent debut season last year, Lamela's looked a lot more promising this campaign. Just look at the bender he whales in from about 25 yards out:...
Yaya Touré Is Back To Smashing In The Goals
It was a bit of a shaky start for Yaya Touré this season, and as Manchester City's best player, it's meant a bit of a shaky start for the club. But today's match against Crystal Palace saw him back to the position he's most comfortable in, finishing off a perfectly worked counter by bludgeoning th...
Chile Is Obsessed With Alexis Sánchez's Sex Life
New Arsenal star Alexis Sánchez has come into the Premier League and torn shit up. Naturally, his native Chile has been very interested in their local hero's exploits. And while there hasn't been too much to worry about in terms of his playing performance, the country's press has kept a close eye on...
Who Will Develop The First Great American Soccer Star?
For as far as soccer—the official Sport Of The Future on these shores for decades now—has come in America, we still haven't hit upon a sustainable youth development model to cultivate all levels of professional talent, from squad-fillers to superstars. This leaves interested parties at home and abro...
Spanish Soccer Official Bails On Meeting To Go To Real Madrid Game
One of the most pressing concerns in Spanish soccer today is how to deal with fan violence. Apparently, a more pressing concern is whether Real Madrid will win the Club World Cup that takes place this week, since the president of Spanish Soccer blew off a meeting addressing the violence to watch Los...
This Story Proves That Argentine Striker Diego Milito Is The Best
Diego Milito, the former Inter star striker who now plays for his boyhood team Racing Club back in Argentina, is the coolest. All it took was the following story, about "The Prince," one fan, rosary beads, and two shocking championships spaced 13 years apart, to convince us that it's true....
Goalkeeper Manuel Neuer Out To Prove He's Really A Midfielder At Heart
Pep, please, do your star keeper this solid: Bayern will obviously have the Bundesliga wrapped up in about a month from now, could we get some games for Manuel Neuer in defensive midfield? We've seen his ridiculous passing, and now his open-field tackling. What else does he have to prove?...
You Do Not Fuck Around With FIFA's Logos
This will probably not come as a shock, but FIFA really, really cares about its brand. Sure, it's fine allying with slavers and shrugging at the deadly work conditions for "employees" in its host nations, and, when evidence of corruption in the World Cup bidding process is found, is more concerned...
Real Madrid Are Way, Way Too Good
For practically any other club in the world, missing players like James Rodríguez and Luka Modrić would be reason for panic. The absurdly deep squad of Real Madrid, though, can plug in the most expensive player of all time, and a little Spanish genius, and maybe play even better....