billyhaisley Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Afghanistan Football Federation Members Accused Of Sexually Abusing Women's National Team Players
The Guardian has a report today in which multiple figures involved in Afghanistan women’s soccer exposed what they say is a culture of abuse of the female national team’s players on the part of prominent male figures in the Afghanistan Football Federation. One former captain of the women’s team and ...
The Copa Libertadores Scandal Is The Latest Battle In The Long War For Soccer's Soul
The 2018 Copa Libertadores final could’ve been the greatest one in the competition’s storied history. In the world’s most popular sport, the world’s most fanatically soccer-crazed continent’s most coveted title was to be contested by the two clubs that make up the world’s most passionate rivalry. Bu...
Literal Baby-Name Police Won't Let French Couple Name Their Kid "Griezmann Mbappé"
International tournament success in sports famously breeds joy, babies, and joyfully birthed babies named after the sporting heroes who achieved said success. It’s no surprise, then, that one French couple wanted to name their newborn son after two stars from France’s World Cup victory this summer. ...
Korean Soccer Player Expected To Fully Recover After Breaking His Neck On The Field
Three minutes into a playoff game in South Korea’s second-tier soccer league yesterday, Gwangju FC player Lee Seung-mo leapt into the air to challenge for a header, fell to the ground awkwardly, landed on his neck, and immediately lost consciousness. But thanks to some good fortune and the quick res...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
Ousmane Dembélé Has The Sickest Pump-Fake In The World
For Ousmane Dembélé, Barcelona’s match against Atlético Madrid this weekend had to feel familiar. He started the game on the bench for the fourth La Liga match running, a reflection of the French wunderkind’s continued struggles to ingratiate himself with his teammates and manager thanks his now wel...
Diego Maradona Struggles To Complete A Word In Post-Match Interview
Diego Maradona, historically great soccer player and current malfunctioning animated museum exhibit, appears to be in the midst of a simultaneously good and bad experience in Mexico. The good: he is the manager of second-division club Dorados, and after taking charge of the struggling group in Septe...
Premier League Votes To Force-Feed Fans Steaming Piles Of VAR Next Season
If you read this site you probably already know why VAR, soccer’s misguided foray into video replay, is shit. Up to now the Premier League admirably resisted the trend of competitions shoveling VAR down everyone’s throats, in part because of some high-profile local instantiations of VAR’s shittiness...
Claudio Ranieri, Everyone's Lovable Soccer Grandpa, Is Here To Save Fulham
Despite spending something like £100 million in the transfer market in the summer, newly promoted Fulham have been the worst team in the Premier League by a good margin. Finally, they’ve decided to do something about it. Today the club announced that they’ve fired manager Slaviša Jokanović and repla...
Borussia Dortmund Defender Manuel Akanji Is The King Of Quick Maths
Last year, British rapper Big Shaq took the world by storm with an incredible freestyle performance during which he posed and solved a series of math equations mid-rap. It’s taken a while, but someone has finally surpassed Big Shaq’s show of numerical genius with even quicker, more complex maths. Th...
Super Nice Soccer Guy Rewarded For His Compassion With Easiest Goal Of His Life
The next time someone says nice guys finish last, show them this video of Maccabi Petah Tikva striker Habib Habibou tending to a hurt teammate and being gifted with a tap-in because of it, and you will have irrefutably proven the power of good karma:...
Dutch Soccer Fans Hire Stripper To Run On Field And Distract Opponents
Black and yellow streamers fell from the sky near the Rijnsburgse Boys goal in the 12th minute of their match against AFC on Saturday, as if to announce the coming of a celebration or a gift. A gift indeed soon came, as a local stripper ran out onto the pitch wearing nothing but shoes, socks, and so...
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...
Raheem Sterling Wins A Penalty By Tripping Over Himself
In today’s match against Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City star Raheem Sterling did something incredibly embarrassing when he blew a very good scoring opportunity by tripping over his own feet. Luckily for him, the referee followed that blunder with an even more monumental failure of his own when he...
Report: Man Burns Down His Friend's House Over Argentine Soccer Rivalry
The rivalry between Boca Juniors and River Plate, the two biggest clubs in Argentine soccer, is dubbed the Superclásico. This “Super” qualifier isn’t meant to imply that the game’s quality is typically better than Spain’s more heralded Clásico. Instead, it’s a reference to the fans, who are super-ch...
It's Time To Admit That Manchester City Are Unstoppable
Look, we get it. To a certain way of thinking, blowouts are bad, indisputable superiority is boring, and a season with a wire-to-wire table-topper isn’t as enthralling as a tightly competitive one. It would be nice if this year’s Premier League title race were a genuine competition between two or mo...
Mohamed Salah Is Officially A Great Player Now That He Has A Creepy Statue In His Likeness
Last season, Liverpool forward Mohamed Salah went a long way toward consecrating his status as an all-time great by scoring the most goals ever in a single 38-game Premier League season. This weekend, Salah saw his legendary case strengthened even further when someone made an ugly statue of him....
This Malcolm Brown Touchdown Catch Is An Unreal Feat Of Body Control
This twinkle-toed touchdown reception by Rams running back Malcolm Brown, in which he somehow manages to dodge two onrushing Saints defenders and keep his feet inbounds despite having to do it all with just a sliver of grass between him, them, and the sideline, is just incredible....
High School Football Team Redeems Itself With A Crazy Comeback One Year After Late-Game Collapse<em></em>
Last year, Minnesota high school St. Michael-Albertville made news when they gagged up a huge late lead by letting Maple Grove score 19 points in the game’s final 59 seconds. On Friday, STMA found redemption by pulling off a wild fourth-quarter comeback of their own that featured three consecutive o...
Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...