billyhaisley Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Enormous, Real-Life Bear Oversees Kickoff Of Russian Soccer Match
Mascots are a common sight at soccer matches. Traditionally, these take the form of cute little children who escort the players onto the pitch to start a match. Sometimes, as was the case before a game in Russia this weekend, the cute little children are swapped out in favor of a huge fucking bear:...
Referee Awards Penalty Kick During Halftime In Latest Video Replay Farce
If ever you needed evidence that even when video replay is right it can still be horribly wrong, yesterday’s Bundesliga match between Mainz and Freiburg should serve as just that....
Manchester City's Title Run Ends With A Wet Fart
As the determiner of an ultimate champion, the soccer system is great. The table never lies and every match matters and you always know that, come the end of the long, grueling season, the team that stacked up the most points will hoist the trophy above their heads in front of their adoring fans wit...
Shocking Video Reveals That Ronaldo And Messi Have Different Personalities
Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi. It’s an argument as old as time itself, with diehard fans of these two all-time greats throwing out stats and facts in support of their preferred candidate to make their case for superiority—Messianiacs pointing to his better scoring record, his better passing, hi...
Here Are The Champions League Semifinal Matchups
After a thrilling Champions League quarterfinal round that saw the threat of multiple enormous comebacks and one completed one, we now know who will play whom in the semifinal round for the right to compete for the European Cup in Kiev. The draw looks incredibly enticing....
Stadium Steward Has Organ Removed After Wayward Free Kick Murders His Spleen
In a Serie A match on Sunday, Inter winger Antonio Candreva tried to send the ball screaming into the upper corner of Torino’s goal. Instead, he sent a stadium steward screaming into the hospital when his errant shot flew over the crossbar, smashed into the unsuspecting steward’s back, and ruptured ...
Portugal Forward Jéssica Silva Is The Queen Of Filthy Nutmegs
Meet Jéssica Silva, forward for Spanish club Levante and the Portuguese national team. Last week, she made an appearance for Portugal in a Euro 2021 qualifier against Belgium. This gave her an opportunity to do what she does best, which is to absolutely ruin defenders with beautifully disgusting nut...
Juventus Almost Pull Off Amazing Comeback Before Real Madrid Rip Out Their Hearts
Everything was going perfectly for Juventus. After losing the first leg of their Champions League tie against Real Madrid at home last week, today they went to Madrid and flipped the script, somehow scoring three unanswered goals an hour into the match. Just seconds away from dragging the match into...
Harry Kane's Baby Daughter Officially Safe After Premier League Gifts Her Dad A Free Goal
All the best strikers are maniacally obsessed with scoring goals. Everyone knows about this single-mindedness, and yet it can still be a little jarring to hear just how deep this drive goes. Like this weekend, when Harry Kane made his case that he’d gotten a touch on a goal that had been credited to...
Roma Shock The World, Stage Massive Comeback To Beat Barcelona
If you care about soccer at all, you were definitely glued to your TV today, watching to see if a certain team could do the impossible by overturning a huge first-leg deficit. And while one team did do just that by pulling off an enormous comeback, it was almost certainly not the team you expected....
Manchester City Hit A Few Bumps On The Road To Immortality
By any conceivable criteria, this year’s Manchester City bunch should go down as one of the greatest Premier League teams of all time. In the face of the deepest, richest, savviest array of clubs from top to bottom in league history, as one member of a staggeringly competitive cadre of six superteam...
Deadspin Up All Night: Swallow My Beck's And Holler "Fuck 'Em"
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Until next time....
Edinson Cavani Misses Can't-Miss Goal, Proving That He's Still Edinson Cavani
If you missed the old Cavani, miss easy goals Cavani, “he always chokes” Cavani, “he should be sold” Cavani, then you’re in for a treat: In today’s Ligue 1 match between PSG and Saint-Étienne, Cavani reminded us all that somewhere deep down inside him, behind the steady stream of goals and renewed c...
Aaron Ramsey's Side-Foot Volley <i>Golazo</i> Is Cool As Hell
Arsenal blew the doors off a geriatric CSKA Moscow team in the Europa League today, winning by a score of 4-1. The best goal of the bunch was this beautiful little flick that came off the side of Aaron Ramsey’s foot:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Executes Juventus With Gorgeous, Leaping Bicycle Kick Goal
In his long and illustrious career, Cristiano Ronaldo has won a billion trophies and scored a zillion goals. Today, just now, at the ripe old age of 33, he has scored one of his most sensational, athletic, instantly iconic goals in Real Madrid’s Champions League match against Juventus:...
Feast Your Eyes On These Photos Of Enraged Chelsea Fans Flipping Off Dele Alli
Dele Alli scored twice in Tottenham’s 3-1 victory over Chelsea this weekend. His first goal was a beaut, but as Chris Applegate noted on Twitter, even more gorgeous than the goal itself were the photos, featuring the home Chelsea crowd’s reaction. So many scowls. So many impolite hand gestures. Trul...
This Is Why You Play To The Whistle
The following video, which depicts Macclesfield’s game-winning stoppage time goal against Woking, is an object lesson on why you must always be alert and focused for literally every second of every game, even when an outcome seems guaranteed, especially when playing on a bog of a pitch in rain-soake...
I Blame Chris Brown
Here are just a few, tiny things that happened in a dark, bizarre, depressing Year of our Lord 2018:...
UEFA Gets Rid Of Dumb Rule That Keeps Cool Players On The Sidelines
Are you a Barcelona fan angry that the team’s chances of winning the treble this year are significantly hampered because Philippe Coutinho isn’t allowed to play in the Champions League? Are you a Gooner worried that Arsenal might fail to win the Europa League and in the process consign the once prou...
Goalkeeper Tries To Pretend He Didn't Do The Incredibly Dumb Thing He Just Did
To throw a ball into one’s own net is the single worst thing a goalkeeper can do. To throw the ball into one’s own net, and for that colossal boner to not be the biggest takeaway from the incident in question, takes some serious work. So we doff our cap to this Ethiopian keeper who managed just that...