billyhaisley Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Russian Team Scores Late Game-Winning Goal In Most Assholish Way Possible
Good sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and kicking the ball out of play. Bad sportsmanship: seeing an opponent fall in pain while in the process of making an easy clearance and stealing the ball from the injured fellow in order to go scor...
Real Madrid Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Beat PSG
In the photo above, Cristiano Ronaldo can be seen sort of air-humping Casemiro in celebration of the Brazilian midfielder’s just-scored goal. Ronaldo’s exuberance was probably most aroused by the fact that his teammate’s goal gave Real Madrid a commanding position in what wound up being a comfortabl...
![Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qtse1zbtvamzot6witft.jpg)
Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]
Schalke hosted Hertha Berlin in a Bundesliga match this past Saturday. The match featured one goal, one yellow card, and one Hertha fan calmly stroking his dick in front of god and everyone in the middle of the stands:...
Lionel Messi Won The League All By Himself<em></em>
It helps to take a step back now, after Barcelona have all but assured themselves yet another league title by beating second-place Atlético Madrid at home yesterday, to accurately appreciate the enormity of the situation and the incomparable superiority of Lionel Messi....
Dutch Soccer Hooligans Storm Pitch To Brawl With Players And Security Guards
The players of Dutch second-division club Go Ahead Eagles didn’t show much fight in their 4-0 home loss to De Graafschap this weekend. To remedy the situation, a handful of the home team’s most moronic fans stormed the pitch after the final whistle to try to literally beat up the opposing players wh...
Manchester City Kick Arsenal's Ass With Three Gorgeous Goals
Manchester City ground Arsenal to bits this weekend in a League Cup final that was deeply embarrassing for the Gunners’ players, manager, and anyone who loves them. Today’s midweek Premier League clash at home against the same opponent offered the wounded Londoners a shot at redemption. Instead, Cit...
Mauricio Pochettino Says Video Replay Threatens To "Kill The Emotion" Of Soccer
Yesterday’s Tottenham-Rochdale match had all the ingredients for great game. It had stakes, as an F.A. Cup knockout match; it had narrative, since it pit a Goliath of a club against a lower league David; it had drama, after it went into halftime tied at one goal apiece as Rochdale fought valiantly t...
America's World Cup Hosting Bid Might Fail Because Everyone Hates Donald Trump
In a blessed confluence of somewhat unexpected events, Donald Trump’s presidency has thus far avoided bringing permanent ruin to the country and the world. The sheer odiousness of his status as president of the U.S. does, however, appear at risk of ruining this country’s shot at hosting the 2026 Wor...
Neymar Might Be Fucked
Neymar went down in a heap in the latter stages of PSG’s big 3-0 rivalry victory over Marseille on Sunday. Neymar going down didn’t appear to be anything out of the ordinary, and the non-contact incident that brought him to the grass—a rolled right ankle—didn’t look all that bad on replay. Neymar’s ...
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The Most Badass Goals Are Roberto Firmino's No-Look Goals
Liverpool’s Brazilian striker Roberto Firmino may be the hardest working center forward in the game, but don’t get it twisted: he still manages to couple his indefatigable off-ball work with more than a little of that old samba flair. His elaborate goal celebrations are probably the most indicative ...
Atlético Madrid Sell Yannick Carrasco In Latest Bit Of Chinese League Insanity
After a couple years’ worth of flabbergasting player transactions that sent relatively young, increasingly talented, borderline world-class players from some of the best leagues in Europe and South America to the gilded shores of China, this season felt quieter, like maybe normalcy had finally reass...
Arsène Wenger Narrowly Avoids Humiliating, Possibly Career-Ending Loss
We may have just come as close as ever to seeing the end of the Arsène Wenger era at Arsenal as the Gunners just barely squeaked into the next round of the Europa League. So ... hooray?...
Resourceful Soccer Teen Defends Himself From Angry Opponents By Weaponizing Corner Flag
As they so often do in South American soccer, things turned violent yesterday during a U20 Copa Libertadores match between Independiente del Valle and River Plate. Rather than get whaled on like another South American soccer teen we’ve seen recently, one Independiente player ran over to the corner f...
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Ball Boy Gets His Ass Kicked By Soccer Player For Celebrating A Goal
Not every rivalry match is as internationally renown as Spain’s El Clásico or England’s North London Derby. Nevertheless, even the smallest of local derbies often include frankly ridiculous levels of feistiness and aggression. Which explains this video of a grown man pummeling a ball boy after takin...
La Liga Player Rúben Semedo Arrested On Charges Of Kidnapping, Assault, Robbery
Rúben Semedo, a 23-year-old Portuguese defender who plays for La Liga club Villarreal, could’ve been the next great Portuguese central defender. Instead, it looks more likely that he’ll become the next great Portuguese criminal, given a recent spree of run-ins with the law....
Sergio Agüero Under Investigation After Squaring Up With Dumbass Pitch Invader
Mighty Manchester City somehow lost to third-tier club Wigan in the F.A. Cup yesterday. Predictably, this caused a ruckus as the stunned and overjoyed home fans stormed the pitch after the final whistle. One such Wigan fan got way too hyped by the moment and got all up in Sergio Agüero’s face, inspi...
West Brom Players Apologize For Hijacking Taxi For A Munchie Run To McDonald's
West Brom players Gareth Barry, Jonny Evans, Jake Livermore, and Boaz Myhill were detained by local police in Barcelona yesterday after allegedly commandeering a taxi that had taken them from their hotel to a nearby McDonald’s drive-thru, driving the cab back to their hotel, and ditching the vehicle...