billyhaisley Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man City Spend More Of Their Unlimited Money On Yet Another Wildly Expensive Defender
Manchester City are one of the biggest and most ambitious clubs in world soccer. In order to realize their silver-lined aspirations, they need lots and lots of money to invest in the team. Luckily for them, they have more money than god thanks to the backing of the Abu Dhabi royal family which owns ...
Let's Remember Some Games
Earlier today, a random series of events brought to my mind the rap song from Donkey Kong 64. A great song, and a great game. Maybe you’ve forgotten about Donkey Kong 64 :( But now you remember it. Let’s remember some other video games:...
This Real Madrid Season Is A Total Disaster
This was to be the year that officially consecrated a new Real Madrid dynasty. After historic European success—back-to-back Champions League trophies, making for three such titles in four years—and the arguably even more Herculean feat of beating out Lionel Messi’s team for status as La Liga champi...
White Girls Saying "Nigger" On Instagram Is The Black Mirrorest <i>Black Mirror</i> Shit
Imagine a world, one that very much resembles our own, set in some not-too-distant, semi-dystopian future. A sort of bizarro version of our modern Western society, where the increasing imposition upon society of otherwise benign technology and social media has warped the very fabric and structure of...
Arsenal Punked Out Of Yet Another Star Player
If you had to pick a single image to represent Arsenal’s enduring subjugation in English soccer’s hierarchy, you could do a lot worse than one showing Robin van Persie lifting the Premier League trophy. van Persie famously pined for that title after failing to win it with Arsenal after nearly a deca...
Lionel Messi Is A Treasure
“It’s spectacular to watch him every day. He is the best player there is and the best there will ever be,” said first-year Barcelona manager Ernesto Valverde yesterday after witnessing yet another breathtaking display of excellence by Lionel Messi in his team’s 5-0 victory over Real Betis. Messi sco...
Young Lad Is Way Too Chill About Scoring The Goal Of His Life
You’d think that even the most seasoned and professional of goalscorers would react to popping the ball into the net with a scorpion kick by frantically running around and losing their mind. But this little Irish lad, after scoring a once-in-a-lifetime scorpion kick, just calmly turned and trudged b...
Brazilian Soccer Team Scores From Ingenious Free Kick Fake-Out
We’ve seen lots of tricky free kick techniques over the years, but this one from Brazil takes the cake in terms of ingenuity and unexpectedness:...
Burnley Manager Denies Eating Worms But Admits To Sucking On Them
Burnley manager Sean Dyche seems like the kind of guy who would munch on a big bowl of tree bark, rocks, and beetles for breakfast every morning and make a big show of it if for no other reason than to prove how much of a hardass he is. Thus it wasn’t too much of a stretch to believe a former teamma...
Neymar Is Wasting His Talents In This Bullshit League
Neymar did an amazing thing yesterday in a game you almost certainly didn’t watch and probably didn’t even hear about. At one point in yesterday’s Ligue 1 match against Dijon, Paris Saint-Germain’s brightest star picked up the ball near the center line and sped his way down half the pitch, in the pr...
Argentine Soccer Team Puts Keepers Through Batshit Insane Training Regimen
Sportivo Dock Sud, a team in Argentina’s fourth division, really want their goalkeepers to be prepared for anything. That must be why the team’s keeper coach runs his charges through the wildest training gauntlet imaginable:...
Deadspin Up All Night: No Gun Or God
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Let’s go....
Dimitri Payet Gives Keeper The Business, Literally Injures Him With Sick Dribble Move
Everyone knows about the basketball phrase “breaking one’s ankles,” a metaphorical description for when a defender gets juked so hard by a crossover or the like that, in their spasmodic attempt to stay with the dribbler, they fall over themselves into sad heap of pain and humiliation. Well Dimitri P...
Carlos Tevez On His Time Stealing Money From Chinese Club: "I Was On A Seven-Month Vacation"
Carlos Tevez had about 40 million reasons to love his cushy, high-paid life with Chinese Super League club, Shanghai Shenhua. But, as readers of this site well know, Tevez hated living in China, hated the food (though not so much as to prevent him from packing on the pounds), and hated the soccer cu...
The Liverpool-Man City Match Was A Classic From The Premier League's New Golden Age
The English Premier League has been the most famous and purely entertaining soccer league for ages now. No other domestic league can match England’s in top-to-bottom competitiveness, in the sheer number of historically and consistently great clubs, in blustery, throat-hoarsening fan engagement, in w...
French Soccer Ref Loses His Mind After Getting Accidentally Tripped By Player
Because soccer referees need to be in the thick of the action, every now and then they will be inadvertently tripped up or bowled over by a player. A normal reaction to this is for the ref to clamber back to his feet with a smirk, and maybe laugh about the accident with the sheepish player once play...
Deadspin Up All Night: All Them Leaves Must Fall Down
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin....
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
These Japanese Kids Suck So Hard At Soccer That Not Even 100 Of Them Can Beat Three Pros
Last time the youth of Japan were given an opportunity to demonstrate their sporting acumen in the whimsical world of Japanese game shows, 55 children tried and failed to best a team of a mere two professional players in soccer. Recently, that same game show gave 100 more kids the chance to redeem t...
Romelu Lukaku Did Not Leave Everton Because Of "Voodoo"
Farhad Moshiri, the majority shareholder of Everton, took some time at a shareholders’ meeting yesterday to explain, according to him, why his club could not convince former Toffee and current Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku not to leave last summer. Moshiri’s bizarre explanation—that Lukaku...